


Lose Your Way Home

by BrightRiver



Category: Anne of Green Gables - L. M. Montgomery, Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Character Death, Drama & Romance, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Love, Love Confessions, Post-Canon, Racism, Regret
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 10:20:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 23,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24349405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrightRiver/pseuds/BrightRiver
Summary: Best friends Anne Bouchard and Diana Wright run a successful school in Charlottetown. A new baby and the mysterious return of their old school chum Gilbert Blythe will test Anne and Diana's friendship and future.The story is set five years after the 3rd season. Anne wrote her letter to Gilbert BUT Gilbert didn't write his to Anne.
Relationships: Anne Shirley/William Bouchard, Diana Barry/Fred Wright, Gilbert Blythe/Anne Shirley, Gilbert Blythe/Winifred Rose, Ruby Gillis & Moody Spurgeon MacPherson
Comments: 62
Kudos: 125





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> The story is set five years after the 3rd season. Anne wrote her letter to Gilbert BUT Gilbert didn't write his to Anne. 
> 
> This is my first Anne with an E fanfic :) I'm excited to see where it goes.

_Dear Cole,_

_I hope this letter finds you well. My darling husband and I would like to thank you for the four boisterous days we shared with you in Paris. Without a doubt you were the perfect host, Cole McKenzie. Dear Aunt Jo was right when she said you were meant for Paris._

_We have left mother and father in London along with Mini May. Mother cried endlessly - poor Fred didn't know what to make of it. As usual Father was giving me business advice inbetween fits of appraisal. “Diana you must have inherited my knack for running successfully enterprises,” he bellowed “I'm so glad I decided finishing school would not be the place for you.” It took every ounce of will power to squash a roll of the eyes at him. I do hope they enjoy the year long trip around Europe as planned - for more reasons than one._

_We are settled on the ship ready for the final sprint home. I'm beginning to feel exhausted and am looking forward to using the journey as an excuse to sleep._

_You won't believe who is a passenger with us. Gilbert Blythe! He was the last person I anticipated to be taking a seat in the dining room. You of course would remember Fred was best friends with Gilbert before Fred's family relocated to East Grafton, around the time Gilbert went West with his father. The two men reunited as if they haven't aged in fifteen years. It was very sweet to watch and laugh with them as we shared many memories, some of which you would have enjoyed._

_Gilbert was travelling without Winifred as she had chosen to stay London. I suppose it's not peculiar for a man to travel without his wife but I couldn't help but ask some questions. I inquired on her health wondering if she was with child in what I thought was a subtle way. He got my hint and said no. Gilbert must have noticed the look shared between myself and Fred because he asked if I was expecting. It felt like a betrayal he found out before beloved Anne. I'm longing to tell her of our new addition, yet dread the moment too._

_You might be wondering why Gilbert was in London – turns out the pathetic French lessons we had at school made learning at the Sorbonne difficult. Every spare moment was dedicated to learning French. It all became a bit too much and so he transferred to the Royal College. I will admit feeling a little victory on behalf of Anne. Remember our poor girls melancholy after his quick wedding and departure, even when she confessed her love._

_He is now working in research for the College, enjoying life in London and outwardly seemed to be in good spirits. Yet there was a sadness about him. The mood picked up when he asked about my adventures post Avonlea. I told him Marilla convinced Mother and Father to let me go to Queens instead of Finishing School in Paris, and Anne taking the teaching course in one year leaving the rest of us behind to be Principal at Summerside. He admitted hearing the news from Miss Stacy of Anne's scholarly success. Of course I left out the story of Anne's beloved William's cruel departure with Joyce. Oh how it still makes my blood boil two years on. It didn't feel right to discuss Anne's misfortune with Gilbert especially after his treatment of Anne. She will have luck and find new love someday._

_I skipped forward to Aunt Josephines passing and the generous inheritance bequeathed onto us all. Myself inheriting her home, money to Anne, yourself, my parents and Rollings. Fred jumped in at this point talking up what I had achieved. He sounded like my father! Turning Aunt Josephines house into a useful space, providing free education for children in the Bog and other poor neighbourhoods has been one of my greatest achievements. Offering children a chance to read, learn another language, to draw, sing, play a musical instrument...well you know how happy this endeavour has made us._

_I am so thankful Anne took up the slack so Fred and I could enjoy our honeymoon. She is a dear and I cannot wait to see her. Fred was most sincere telling Gilbert how harmoniously Anne and myself work together. I don't doubt that, but also knocked on the wooden table so his words don't jinx our good fortune so far._

_I will finish this letter now and put into the mail tomorrow. Three more days until we are back on land._

_Write to us soon._  
_All my love_  
_Diana Wright_


	2. Two

Shadows of tree limbs crept slowly over the desk Anne sat behind. The bends and twists on the branches outside resembled a waging finger moving across the pages in front of her.

“All right Mrs. Oak tree you have indicated the time, Diana should be here very soon.”

Anne stretched her hands up over her head collapsing back into the seat. She had been sitting in the same spot for most of the day finishing up proposed ideas, rosters, meal plans, and equipment lists for the school year ahead. Anne had insisted she would be fine to tackle this years planning while Diana and her new husband honeymooned in Europe.

When the two young woman took on the task of setting up a school they has done so without realising how much work was involved. They put everything of themselves into the school wanting to recreate the kind of schooling they had experienced under their former teacher Miss Stacy.

Oak College opened a year ago and in that time had educated 19 students between the ages of twelve and sixteen, both boys and girls. Their second year enrolments were to increase by eleven, mostly young girls.

From Monday to Friday two large carriage would travel to the Bog on the outskirts of Charlottetown to bring pupils to the school. The Bog had it's own school but did not go beyond age 12. It was the same situation in another of the poorer neighbourhoods. Any opportunity to further education was limited by not only geography but prejudice.

After Diana fell in love with the sensible Fred Wright the large estate she had inherited did not appeal. Anne had the idea to transform the late Miss Josephine Barrys home into a school with Diana's suggesting the school be made available only to children from the Bog, for free.

“Just like Jo March in Little Women, we'll do good and give back.”

The decision was also made easier when Diana was told she'd have to give up teaching by the school she was working for once she was married. Frustrated with the rule a married woman couldn't teach she realised owning a school would allow both herself and Anne to be useful while not having to worry about the silly requirements. To outsiders they were business owners, but to them it was a way of holding onto independence.

Word spread quickly amongst the various Charlottetown social circles, many condemning both women for bringing coloured children to their neighbourhood. Anne would occasionally snap at the gossips asking why it was OK for coloured people to work in their homes but not learn in a house on their street. Diana being the diplomatic one learnt it was easier to smile and walk away.

The first year had passed by without many hitches and two women found allies quickly. It was common to be invited to tea with Josephine Barry's old friends, tucking cheques into their hands to help with the school as they left.

Diana lived on the east of town with Fred in a home they both purchased. together Diana said it was thrilling to see the lawyer put her name on the deed alongside Freds.

It turns out Miss Josephine owned many properties; from Charlottetown to Toronto to Paris. Anne had been fortunate inheriting enough money to purchase her own home closer to the centre of Charlottetown with a view of the harbour from her bedroom. During quite moments Anne questioned if the generosity bestowed on her by Miss. Barry was truly deserved.

The sound of the bell in the entrance alerted Anne to Diana's arrival just as she finished laying out the pages alongside sweet treats for them to nibble on while working.

The two girls squealed when they saw each other, embracing in a long hug.

“How long has it been Diana?”

“Six weeks my dear, but it feels like a year.”

“Let me look at you sweet newlywed.”

Anne pulled back gazing at her best friend. Diana wore her raven hair in new a style held perfectly in place. She had always been envious of Diana's hair. While the jealousy of the colour had subsided with Anne's maturity it was Diana's ability to keep her hair neat, where Anne's would fall about even if she was sitting still. William always said her wild hair matched her wild heart.

She turned her attention to Diana's new dress. It featured the bolero style Anne had seen appearing in Charlottetown, reaching out to touch the pretty embroider hem-stitch set against the delicate pastel blue thinking how similar the trim looked on an unworn white dress now tucked away in her home.

Why does everything have to remind me him and her?

“Yes, you have the honeymoon glow,” said Anne.

Diana swatted at her arm, “You would know!”

Feigning sadness Anne put an arm around her with a sigh, “I wouldn't dearest Diana. I will have to live vicariously through your romantic escapades in the hopes some of the glow will rub itself on me.”

Diana told Anne of the honeymoon destinations, the visit with Cole and his friend Henry, Mini May's melt down in London the night before she left. As she was about to divulge the news of running into Gilbert Blythe on the steamer home she noticed Anne's foot bouncing up and down. Anyone who had been friends with Anne as long as Diana knew the bop bop bop of her foot meant she had news or gossip.

“Well looks like we have talked enough about me, I say we need to hear your news!”

“Oh Diana I wanted to tell you immediately It is good news, the very best news.” Anne tilted her head at Diana, “but I feel you have something to tell me too.”

Diana reached for another sweet shaking her head at her friends observation.

“I don't have any news.”

“Diana we both know when we are hiding something. How about we both say our news at the same time on the count of three. One-Two-Three....the book is being published!”

“I'm having a baby!”

It was brief a flash but Diana had seen the sadness in Anne's eyes. She lent forward taking Anne's hand in hers, not rushing any words.

“I'm so happy for you both, I truly am,” said Anne playing with Diana's wedding band.

“It's okay if you're not, I had --”

Anne held up her hand, “I am, truly! This is a momentous occasion and one I expected. You will make an excellent mother Diana and Fred the kindest father.”

“Thank you, Anne. I'm so lucky to have you in my life. Nothing is going to change.” Diana squeezed her hand hoping Anne understood how much she meant to her. “Let's not forget about your news! Do you want to share more about the book. I told you it would be picked up by a publisher." 

Anne shook her head at Diana's request.

"Well shall I tell you more of my honeymoon to change the subject? Would that help?”

“That depends Diana, did you see anything outside your hotel rooms?”

Diana guffawed at Anne's forwardness, cheeks colouring as Anne chuckled.

“Very well, you win. How about you show me the grand ideas I see at the desk. I can't wait to start the school year.”

For the rest of the afternoon Diana listened to Anne reading her ideas, scribbling plans alongside her for the future. Diana knew Anne would find happiness again and the bitter sting of her recent heartbreak will always be there, but hopefully won't hurt as much forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. Next chapter we find out where Gilbert went, but will we find out why?


	3. Three

Gilbert knew every bird around Avonlea. Their different markings, how each one walked, flew and landed. It was like knowing the alphabet to him. Grandfather Blythe taught him the contrasting characteristics of each bird and how understanding them could help tell what season approached, will there be drought or storms, when to sow and harvest.

He never appreciated their morning songs until now. Each whistle and whoop made his heart ache, the homesickness he kept hidden these past five years bubbled to the surface.

When Gilbert was younger he wanted to be like his father, even though relatives would say he had his mothers quite spirit. John Blythe laughed at their observations telling everyone he was like him. His father loved adventure, distant lands of the unknown, drawing him out like the waves on the beach, the opposite of his own father. Not one to disappoint Gilbert rebelled the likeness to his mother, burying any resemblance they shared, should it remind him of her.

Before embarking on the Primrose after John's death Gilbert would hear the voice of his grandfather asking ' _are you doing this to please my son or yourself?'_

It was easy to ignore the question when grief enveloped him as he swayed in the ships hammocks at night.

The same question would rear from time to time throughout the years. But this morning as he lay awake in his childhood bed with sleep stuck around the eyes the sound of Sebastian and Delly laughing in the kitchen told him the decision to embark on the Primrose was a good one.

“Up early again, Blythe?”

“Someone has to show you how to pick the apples correctly,” replied Gilbert as he took a seat next to Sebastian at the kitchen table.

Delphine stood next to Hazel cooking breakfast together, Hazel talking her grand daughter through the process.

“Sebastian, weren't you going to the Cuthbert's this morning?” asked Hazel after greeting Gilbert.

Sebastian nodded as Delphine ran over to her father crawling into his lap helping herself to his breakfast while smiling shyly at Uncle Gilbert.

“Yes mother and your shopping list will make it too Marilla before they head to Carmody on Monday.”

Gilbert laughed as he heard Hazel mutter the words _sass_ and _behind_ under her breath.

“Marilla and Matthew have taken to picking up supplies for us. The stores have started giving my mother a hard time when she was doing her shopping.”

Gilbert nodded, understanding not a lot had changed when it came to prejudice in the small towns.

“Do you mind if I tag along? I should like to say hello to the Cuthbert's while I'm here.”

“Ah yes, maybe they will find out _why_ you are here.”

Gilbert arrival wasn't a surprise. He had written to Sebastian in May telling him to expect him for a visit in July without much of an explanation except to see how Sebastian and the farm was. Sebastian tried asking questions but was given the usual Blythe nod or a subject diversion. By the third day he had given up asking him directly.

“You need to ask Rachel about school to Sebastian, September is approaching,” said Elijah as he entered the kitchen. He was always the first up, heading out to the orchard to check over the fruit and fields.

Everyone knew Delphine attending school had been one of Mary's requests. The Avonlea school was expecting a new teacher to arrive by the middle of August. There was no word yet if they would permit to teaching Delphine. The closest school accepting coloured children was on the outskirts of White Sands, too far for Delphine to travel on her own.

“If only Anne and Diana's school was in Avonlea,” said Sebastian.

Jerry greeted Sebastian and Gilbert at the gate to Green Gables. The once lanky skinny farm hand had grown into a young man.

“Bonjour Gilbert, Rachel told us you were here for a visit. How were your travels?”

“Very well, thank you Jerry.”

“I'll drop these tools off to Matthew in the barn, be in a minute. Can you help me Jerry?”

Gilbert looked up at Green Gables thinking about the last time he had visited. It had been an awkward conversation on his half and maybe even Matthew's. He had wanted to thank the Cuthbert's for the support and help over the years, but Matthew didn't seem the least bit interested and Gilbert rode home wondering if Anne told them of his confession at the ruins.

His footsteps on the verandah alert Marilla and she's at the door wiping her hands on her apron, a smile he was not expecting on her face.

“Gilbert Blythe, this is pleasant surprise.” said Marilla. “Sebastian mentioned you were visiting this month. No doubt he's put you to work. A bumper harvest this year, your father would be happy. You are well?”

Gilbert nodded taking in a deep breath as he looked at the familiar matriarch. She had not changed much, hair a touch more grey.

“I am very happy to be home and you are right, Sebastian has put me to work.”

“You are in London now aren't you? What's it like? I remember the stories my mother told me of when her and my father visited before they sailed to Prince Edward Island.”

“Well it's the complete opposite of Avonlea – like Charlottetown but one thousand times bigger.”

Gilbert's attention was caught by the cry of a baby coming from the top of stairs followed by slow footsteps.

Sebastian never mentioned Anne was married and a mother, neither had Diana when they ran into each other on the ship. Granted Sebastians letters were never long nor filled with gossip, but he thought this kind of news would have been shared with him. After all they had been neighbours for years, and for a period close friends before the feelings he harboured for Anne ruined everything.

“I'm sorry if this was not a good time to visit Miss Cuthbert. I didn't mean to wake Anne and her baby if they were sleeping,” Gilbert said feeling flustered.

The hair he expects to see isn't red. Another woman with golden hair tied up in a bun similar to Marilla's walked the final stairs holding a baby close to her chest.

“This is Imogen, Jerry's wife and their baby Emma.”

“Oh,” was all Gilbert could say.

“Why did you expect Anne's baby? Don't you know?” Marilla asked in a small voice.

“What doesn't Gilbert know?” asked a voice from the verandah.

All three turned around to find Anne standing at the entrance to Green Gables.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading. We finally get to learn about William in the next chapter...


	4. Four

“What doesn't Gilbert know?” asked a voice from the verandah.

All three turned around to find Anne standing at the entrance to Green Gables kitchen.

The last time Gilbert saw Anne was in Miss Stacy's kitchen nervously waiting for exam results. He remembered standing or was he hiding behind the wall trying not to look at Anne and failing miserably. No one knew he had proposed to Winifred the day before, not even Sebastian.

_Is there something you might want to say? To me?_

The girl Gilbert saw skipping out of Miss Stacy's home on that hot August morning in 1899 transformed into a woman. Two braids no longer hung either side of her face instead her hair was swept into a relaxed bun atop of her head, its colour deeper like the red maple leaves before the final fall. Her cheeks looked sharper and eyes larger or perhaps it was the mature hairstyle opening Anne's face up. 

She wore a white blouse and a brown pair of pants, a look he was not at all surprised to expect on Anne. As he stepped forward to greet her Anne straightened her back, the inch she had grown during her last young years showing. 

“Anne, we weren't expecting you this weekend.” said Marilla.

“Hello Anne, it's nice to see you.”

As his eyes came back to settle on her face he saw the heightened colour around the eye. He knew too well the signs a person had been crying.

Anne nodded stepping into the shadow of the kitchen.

“It's a nice surprise to find you here, how was your journey from Paris?”

“I travelled from London, I live there now with Winifred. My poor French didn't compete with the Sorbonne”

Anne remembered vaguely hearing Sebastian mention this years ago.

“I'm so sorry to hear that, it was your dream to be there. No doubt London is very exciting.”

“Dreams change I suppose. Congratulations on the school. Diana told me all about it on the journey home. I can't believe she married Fred Wright!”

Anne nodded her head slowly realising Diana and Fred knew Gilbert was here but didn’t tell her. A younger Anne would have dissected Diana's omission worried why her best friend would keep something like this from her, instead years of growing and learning together helped Anne understand why her best friend didn't bother with news of the man who once claimed had intentions for her then went off to marry another woman. The knowing bond of female kinship brought her some joy on this Jonah day. If it wasn't for the trip to Avonlea there could be the highest chance she'd never see him and perhaps thats what Diana expected or hoped for.

“I think it's romanic they reconnected after all these years, it's a wonderful love story.”

“and a baby to come soon too,” Gilbert said with jubilantly announcing it to the room.

“Yes, a baby.” said Anne just above a whisper.

Emma started to cry as Jerry, Sebastian and Matthew stepped onto the verandah.

“Diana is having a baby?” asked Marilla.

The worried look shared between Marilla and Imogen didn't go unnoticed to Gilbert or the the way Anne rushed in to say she couldn't wait to be an Aunt again, as if trying to smoother an unasked question.

Baby Emma's fretting continued to grow, “I think she wants her father.” Imogen excused herself outside moving past Matthew as he came in.

“Marilla, Hazel has written this shopping list for Monday.” He passed a piece of paper over. “Sebastian tells me you are back for a month, Gilbert.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Well you'll have to come over for dinner with Sebastian and family to tell us all about it. What do you say Sebastian?”

Gilbert could hear from the verandah Imogen telling Jerry and Sebastian of Diana's news in a hushed voice. Ordinarily news of a baby would be a happy time yet everything was somber and out of place.

“I don't know anyone in my house that will turn down a meal from Marilla.” Sebastian said from the doorway. “Gilbert it's best we go.”

“Diana is having a baby,” said Marilla looking from Sebastian to Matthew finally settling on Anne.

“Yes Imogen just told me. It is wonderful news.”

Even the way Sebastian replied lacked joy.

“Anne?”

Anne nodded slowly at Matthew.

“While I - - Gilbert it was lovely to see you again, please do call if you are in Charlottetown. Sebastian I will be over to see Delphine soon, not this weekend. Give her a hug for me, and Hazel and Elijah.”

Sebastian nodded, “I understand. Gilbert are you ready?”

They said their goodbyes and headed for the buggy. Gilbert waited until they were a safe distance from Green Gables before turning to Sebastian his eyebrows tilted in confusion.

“Why do I feel like Diana and Fred expecting a baby was not the happy news it should be?”

Sebastian scoffed at Gilbert shaking his head at the insensitive comment.

“I'm surprised to hear you say that Blythe!”

“What do you mean?”

“Would you be filled with happiness to hear your best friend is having a baby when not only your baby died but also your husband? I thought Doctors are supposed to have some empathy.”

Gilbert sat stunned at Sebastians reply looking at the profile of his brother as they headed towards the Blythe farm. He felt like the wind had been knocked out of him.

The crease on Sebastians face softened as he chanced a look back at Gilbert sitting there with the same baffled look. Suddenly it dawned on him Gilbert didn't know and he let out a frustrated moan lifting his hands to rub his face.

“You didn't know, did you?”

“What do you mean? Who would tell me? You know I haven't kept regularly in touch with anyone but you.” Gilbert's voice was almost shrill in response.

“Anne's daughter Joyce died at birth. Six months later the grim reaper paid another visit taking her husband, William. It was typhoid.”

“Why didn't you tell me?”

Sebastian shook his head looking out at the road trying to find the right words for the response, settling on the truth.

“Look Blythe, a month before you left for Paris I was sitting at the kitchen table. You tell me you loved Anne but she turned you down, and now you are marrying Winifred. On the outside I was happy for you but inside you left me feeling confused. I found it hard to believe anyone could just go from loving someone to not loving them, even if you did marry another woman. So I decided to help give you space while you set up your life with Winifred, whom I think is a lovely kind person. I assumed you were still in love with Anne and needed time to get over her. I got into the habit of not sharing news of her with you. Plus you never asked about Anne, not once.”

“I wonder why Diana didn't tell me.”

“Maybe she thought you knew?”

Gilbert sat in silence absorbing everything Sebastian had said.

“When did this all happen?”

“Over a year now – almost two. I'd say the news about Diana was hard. She'll learn to cope, we all do eventually.”

Gilbert didn't ask anymore questions understanding this would be conjuring up painful memories for Sebastian.

As planned they went to the orchard to meet with Elijah and Julio the hired man. Hazel was with them alongside Delphine. The orchard was buzzing with life and hard work, the scene before him raising Gilbert's mood and he sent a prayer on the breeze for his old friend Anne.

“I just saw Anne in the south field before an' headin' to the woods with her camping sack. Been a while since I see that.”

Sebastian looked out towards the field where Elijah was talking. “Diana is expecting a baby.”

Elijah nodded solemnly turning back to his work. Hazel commented “that poor baby girl” shaking her head in the same way Sebastian did before.

“Camping in the wood? Where does she go?” asked Gilbert peering at the tree line hoping to see a flash of red.

“Her husband William was half Mi'kmaq. After his death she would spend time with them, we think. Anne doesn't really say where she goes to anyone. Just up and disappears, and everyone holds their breath until she returns.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kind reviews. We'll get to know Anne and William a bit more, and I promise he is a nice person.


	5. Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We meet the kind and handsome William Bouchard. This was a hard and loooong chapter to write. Hope it makes some sense and explains a little of Anne's history after Gilbert left.

Waking up beneath yellow birches never grew old for Anne Bouchard.

The morning light illuminated the bark in a way that made Anne wonder if this is what paper made of gold looked like. She stretched out her hands and toes grazing the mosquito net William insisted on.

_I miss you I miss you I miss you_

A warm breeze passed through the mesh tickling her face and cheeks in a playful way that said _I'm here, Anne_.

She smiled at the memory of her first kiss with William. His brown hands cupping her cheeks tenderly, his brown eyes looking at her with the hope of a future.

“If you don't kiss me now William, then I will kiss you.” said Anne. William had tossed his head back with a big laugh. This sent Anne into a fit of nervous giggles.

“Of course you would!” William replied.

Anne met William Bouchard at the Spring Ball in their first year at Queens College. Her new friend Stella introduced them knowing they both had an interest in the unfortunate Indians.

He liked her big words and big eyes and even bigger smile. She liked his laugh, the crinkle of his eyes, love for learning and teaching. Everyone including Anne and William knew the introduction was a divine meeting ordained by the heavens above. The giddiness of the new friendship burgeoned into romantic as poems, foraged flowers and longing looks passed between the two.

It was during this blossoming Anne confessed to Diana her uncertainty about William. He visited her on Saturdays at Blackmore House, took her on tea dates, long walks around the gardens near the school. They shared a passion for improving the lives of Indians and dismantling the residential schools then swing to intimate discussions on how they would parent a child.

She wasn't uncertain about dear William but rather unsure she deserved to be loved by someone so good and kind and handsome.

The news of Gilbert's engagement came after church a month before Queens was due to begin. Everyone in the congregation lined up to congratulate while asking the same questions and Gilbert repeating the same answera; “We will marry in a month,” “Yes we will sail to Paris the following week,” “I'm unsure if we will settle here after University,” “Yes my father would be proud.”

Anne hung back with Marilla and Matthew listening as the same answers were repeated. Diana kept looking back at Anne with a mix of sorrow and the anger of a seeing her best friends broken heart. Marilla said they'd make it quick and neighbourly. Marilla had felt responsible for Anne's current state as she encouraged her confessions of the heart. Anne was her daughter and it vexed Marilla greatly to see Anne have to face the skittish boy. Anne kept telling Diana, Marilla and Matthew she was OK, it would be OK.

“I wish you and Miss Rose every happiness. You deserve it more than anyone.”

Anne meant every word she said as she stood infront of him. After all Anne loved Gilbert and love to her means freedom. If Gilbert loved Winifred then he should be with her. “All the best planning your wedding and organising for the move to Paris. You'll do well. I know you will.”

Gilbert didn't say anything in return, the lack of response another blow. Anne stepped aside unable to look him in the eyes should it break the dam of tears she could feel behind her eyes.

It was only when Anne was sitting on the buggy with Marilla and Matthew that Gilbert rushed over to them.

“Thank you, Anne. Good luck at Queens.” Gilbert said quickly, then turned and walked in the direction of his home.

When she moved to Blackmore House Anne found it hard to want to leave and explore Charlottetown. Knowing _they_ would be in town planning the wedding or even chancing upon the wedding left her feeling nothing but dread. None of the other girls except Diana were privy to the reason for Anne's melancholy.

She used to sit upon her bed and pick apart where it all went wrong in their friendship. Something changed after New Years between them. Gilbert would stare at her or say something that alluded to more than friendship. It made her heart leap excitedly but Anne knew she had to cool his intentions should it damage her friendship with Ruby and the girls. She started making excuses when he asked for help with school or to go for a snow shoe tramp. Telling Gilbert to post about Ruby was a clumsy attempt to derail him but it was the anxiety driven snap on their journey to Charlottetown that drove the message home.

There were several instances Anne had wanted to tell Gilbert why she couldn't pursue anything with him until Ruby's infatuation had lifted. Would he understand the one thing she wanted for thirteen years was friends and that it could all vanish if she was to give into Gilberts attraction. Then part of her was uncertain the attraction was even there. After all her imagination was good. Would the most popular boy in school even like someone like her?

Anne soon found solace in writing after Diana suggested she find a way to distract herself, using her piano playing as an example in her own life. She rewrote old story club tales and penned original stories, the house enjoying the free entertainment on Sunday afternoons by the fire. With encouragement from the girls Anne began submitting her stories to womens journals having some success.

Writing helped Anne out of her funk and move forward with her life. What had happened could not be changed, no matter how many months she spent on her bed reexamining everything between them. Gilbert was in Paris, married, living his life and likely not thinking about her. It was time to live her life. When school returned after Christmas Anne went to every social gathering she had declined during her first semester a decision Anne was glad she made because it led to meeting her William.

William encouraged Anne's story writing helping whenever she got stuck. He had a natural way with storytelling. Anne tried to encourage him to write his own tales down but was met with resistance saying he was too shy.

Anne finished her studies in one year instead of the usual two, which meant she graduated at the same time as William who was a second year. Everyone was expecting news of their engagement at the graduation ball and unbeknownst to their friends it had already happened under the yellow birches in the Charlottetown botanic gardens.

Marilla and Matthew adored William from the first meeting, knowing Anne was happy and cared for by a fellow kindred spirit. They also respected William for encouraging Anne to pursue her dream to teach for a year before marriage since a married woman were not permitted to teach.

They both found teaching jobs in the town of Summerside, a modern community full of middle and upperclass families. Anne would be teaching at the private girls school with William at the boys school. The prospect of moving to a town smaller than Charlottetown worried William. His dark skin didn't stand out as much in the larger city he grew up in but the smaller town it could.

William had confessed to Anne early on in their courtship that he was Mi'kmaq stating that when she meets his mother it would become evident. Anne confessed she already knew recognising some of the features. His mother's tribe had chosen to assimilate rather than fight for their land taking up any jobs they could to be helpful and accepted. His mother had worked as a cook's assistant from the age of 10 in one of the earliest private Presbyterian schools working her way up to housekeeper before marrying the headmasters accountant. His father was half Mi'kmaq, a fact kept secret and only revealed to Anne who was sworn to tell no one in case he lose his job. The families connection to the school helped secure a place for William and his two brothers. No one in their circle knew, a choice that made Anne frustrated at times when they were listening to racist conversations. Witnessing how much her beloved family needed to hide only made Anne fight harder to address racism.

Any fear of being found out in Summerside was dismissed quickly as William was met with open arms wherever they went, the rapport he had with his students became known throughout town.

They decided to be married in the summer of 1902 in Charlottetown after William was offered a two year contract at the school. The wedding present from Williams parents was a tent and camping gear. William grew up camping with his family. They spoke in Mi'kmaq and he learnt what little of the old ways his parents kept close to them. It's the moment Anne learns William has a traditional name, Muinji'j. The planned honeymoon at their new cottage was swapped for two weeks away where the mighty red oaks hide. Soon the woods become their second home to escape to with one another, William sharing his heritage more and more with Anne.

The trips decreased as Anne's belly swelled with the new addition to their family. Instead she brought the wildflowers to her cottage garden where they would lie between them at night talking and dreaming together. Their world was soon to be shaken when Anne went into labour a month early. Little Joyce would only be with them for a day before passing away in the early hours of the morning.

Neither of them knew how to deal with the grief that descended on their little house of dreams. Marilla and Williams mother took turns staying with them to ease the daily chores so they could heal. As the healing became easier and some sweetness returned to their home William tragically passed away six months after Joyce. Anne was barred from seeing him in his final week should she be with child again a demand made by William.

The ache for her lost family stirs in her now as she packs away her sleeping set and tent. Diana's news was expected she knew that but Anne didn't know the fear that would come with it. It wasn't jealousy but a deep worry of losing people she loved. All of her prayers went to Diana and her baby, asking God to protect both.

Anne spoke about her fears to William on her walk back to Green Gables. She knew people must think her mad and most days she didn't care. If anything it has kept Anne sane.

Marilla takes Anne in a long hug as enters the kitchen soothing Anne with the words she longs to hear.

“I'm scared for her, for them.”

“I know you are, Anne. Part of life is being at the mercy of Gods will and having the strength to keep going. William loved you for your strength, as does God.”

“I'll go back to Charlottetown after tea if that's OK. I need to meet Diana at the school tomorrow. Why do you think Diana never told me about Gilbert being on the same ship as her and Fred?”

Marilla snorted, “I dare say it's because the last time that boy was on the Island he broke your heart.”

“More of a slight bruise I'd say” said Anne with a chuckle.

“Rachel visited with Bash after Church to discuss Delphine attending the Avonlea school. She is hesitant putting the idea forward to the board until after she has spoken with the teacher.”

Anne sighed thinking of the board members that would vote against Delphine 'mixing with the children' as if she wasn't a child herself.

“Rachel did suggest Sebastian should consider your school and boarding with you during the week.”

“It's not right to seperate Delphine and Bash because of prejudice, but if this is what they want I would be there for them. I'll write him a note before I leave. Can you pass it to him on Tuesday?”

“Of course Anne. Now let's get this tea ready before Matthew comes in. Don't want you missing the last train.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kind comments and kudos. Next chapter Gilbert visits Anne...


	6. Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the day of the Oak College Family Picnic. Gilbert tags along with Sebastian, Delphine and Elijah but he is met with a detached Anne. He doesn't understand why until Diana confesses everything.

Gilbert sat opposite Delphine and Sebastian on the train to Charlottetown. Every seat was filled and so the adjoining top windows wound down offering respite from the mix of heat pulsating through the glass and the bodies crammed up against each other. In the time Gilbert had left the Island it seemed villages and towns outside of Charlottetown had grown leading to this being a common occurance or so he heard from Mrs. Lynde. The roomy carriage he remembered from his weekly visits to Dr. Ward were no more.

“A bit different to first class, Mr. Blythe?”

Travelling outside first class was not common for Gilbert though he never spoke about his overly comfortable life with Sebastian. The carriages he was now used to occupying smelled of expensive cologne, perfumes and cigarette smoke.

He decided to shurg off Sebastian's comment rather than take the bait turning his attention to Delphine. Her whole body was turned towards the window in excitment. The last twelve hours were spent counting down to the cakes, ice cream, games and other children to meet at the Oak College Family Picnic.

There were some Black families with small farms closer to Charlottetown than Avonlea. They would come together on Sunday's at their Church near Bright River. It was an unwritten rule the Black families worshipped away from everyone else, even if it was to the same God. The same division extended to where Delphine could go to school and who she could make friends with. Delphine like her mother and father craved a community. It was no surprise today was a big day for the young six year old even if she didn't know the true reason for their visit. To her it was just a picnic with Anne and her fathers friends.

Elijah sat next to Gilbert jiggling his leg excited for another reason. According to Sebastian, Elijah was sweet on the cook at Anne and Diana's school. They has met last year when Elijah offered to help with maintenance work at the College. The successful harvest made it hard for Elijah to visit often and his wages went to post stamps, paper and ink. Where possible he would escort her to Church on Sunday's then watch the postbox at the bottom of the drive like a hawk.

Gilbert had declined Sebastian's first invitation to join the school picnic but Sebastian saw through his facade suggesting he come and offer his condolences to Anne. As usual Sebastian had been right, Gilbert felt awful after the afternoon at the Cuthbert's.

“Anne did invite you to visit,” Sebastian reminded him.

Gilbert was convinced he was more nervous than Elijah. What would he say? Would she even care?

_Did she ever care?_

A white canvas tent was erected on the lawn at Oak College with kids running in and out, laughing and yelling. Underneath a mix of what Gilbert assumed were the parents stood talking next to tables adorned with food and drink. Above them flowers and paper ornaments decorated the tent in whimsical delight.

Sebastian and Elijah recognised friends immediately becoming absorbed in conversation while Delphine's eyes darted around the festivities.

“Did you want to go play Delly?” motioned Sebastian as Delphine moved from gripping his right hand to his left.

Delphine shook her head unsure with the sight of everything. “No yet, I want to see Anne first.”

“You stay and visit, I'll take Delphine to find Anne.” Gilbert held out his hand to Delphine, “come miss Delly, let's find the host.”

“Mrs. Bouchard is in the house,” said a man standing next to Sebastian. It took Gilbert a moment to register it was Anne he was referring to.

Gilbert lead Delphine out of the group of people and begun walking towards the grand house. The cool entrance hall was welcome respite from the warm air. Gilbert was forced to a halt. While the rich velvet carpet leading up the large staircase and oversized paintings along the walls were no longer new to Gilbert, a glance down at Delphine told him this was something akin to visiting a palace and his heart ached at the overwhelming look on her face.

A door opened beyond the marble floor foyer. Anne stood at the doorway her back facing them had and was talking to someone in the room.

Delphine dropped Gilbert's hand running to wrap her small arms around the green skirt Anne was wearing. The forest green colour stood out against the simple crisp white blouse.

“You came! Delphine I'm so happy you are here.”

Anne straightened up seeing Gilbert standing behind Delphine. He noticed she looked surprised to find him there and Gilbert began to wish he hadn't.

“You came too?”

It didn't take much for Gilbert to become the seventeen year old boy left disarmed by a question directed at him from Anne. He shuffled his feet trying to think of something witty? Honest?

“Gilbert! What a surprise!”

Diana appeared behind Anne. She looked flushed and less composed than Anne, the heat clearly paying more of a toll on her today. Diana had her hands at her belly where he could see her growth was beginning to show.

“Welcome to Oak College. I didn't expect you. I'm guessing you came with Sebastian and Delphine. How lovely.”

“They allowed me to tag along today. Though it was Anne that extended an invitation to visit last week.”

Anne cleared her throat, a small smirk hinted on her mouth that spoke volumes to Diana but was missed by the others. It that instant Diana realised the Anne knew about their meeting on the boat.

“Would you like to see the school Delphine?” Diana asked. “Then we can have some ice cream, what do you think Delly?”

Delly nodded, “Is this your home?”

Anne laughed at the young girl, crouching down to the young girls level. “This is the school I help run with Diana. And all those kids you saw, well they attend the school.” Delphine nodded.

“Grandma says I'm to go to school this year. My mummy really wants me to go too.”

Anne nodded, “yes, she does. You know I didn't get to go to school until I was thirteen and I dreamed everyday I could go.”

The tour began downstairs in three similar sized rooms with desks, chalkboards, and cushions in the corner for reading time. Gilbert had asked Anne if this was an influence from Miss Stacy. His question and others to follow were met with a one or two word answers from Anne. Instead Diana would come in to answer in more depth while Anne continued to lead the tour with Delphine in hand.

There was a room filled with musical instruments, cupboards packed with papers, paints, pencils. A former ball room was transformed into a dinning hall.

“This school is amazing . Both of you have something truly special.” Gilbert commented as they came back to the entrance hall. He meant each word but it was only Diana that said a thank you beaming with pride. Anne muttered it was work in progress as if it the institution around them nothing.

“Most great things are and I can only imagine Oak College will grow into something even more impressive. I'm very proud of the two of you,” he replied.

She didn't even bother to respond, instead she turned to Delphine asking if she'd like her promised taste of ice cream and meet some of the other children.

Anne's indifferent behaviour was not new to him though his memory had dampened how frustrating it could be at times. He'll simply pay his condolences and make up an excuse to leave. Her invitation to visit was obviously made out of politeness, nothing more.

“Delphine, do you mind if I have a quick word with Anne alone?” Diana nodded taking Delphine to the entrance hall.

Anne turned to look at him with the poker face she was always good at.

“Anne, I'm sorry for your loss. Sebastian filled me in after we left Green Gables that afternoon. I didn't know. My announcement of Diana's news was insensitive and I'm so sorry.”

Anne looked out the window for a moment the pause making Gilbert regret saying anything at all.

“Thank you.”

“Sebastian told me your husband was a good person..”

“He was a very good person. The best. You would have liked him and I know he would have enjoyed your company too. Now I best go say hello to Sebastian too.” She walked over to Diana briskly, the conversation was over. With that she walked out into the party and he was left with Diana.

Gilbert held out his arm to Diana but she shook her hand at hime. “I have been ordered by Anne to stay inside today. The heat is a little too much right now.”

“Did you want me to get you something to eat? Or drink?”

Diana walked back towards the office with Gilbert by her side.

“No thank you, I sampled enough before the guests arrived and there is a jug of water in here. But please do go enjoy the festivities. The games should be beginning soon.”

“May I ask you a question, Diana. Was Anne trying to avoid my questions or me in general. It felt like she was evading my presence during the tour.”

Diana sighed, motioning for Gilbert to sit down. “I did notice that. Look, you have to understand seeing you here again might be confusing for Anne.”

“Confusing?”

She scoffed at his response.

“Truly? You left Avonlea without much of an explanation to Anne. One week you are confessing you'd give up Paris, the Sorbonne, and Winifried for her, then you become engaged to Winifred shortly after.”

Gilbert shifted in his seat trying to figure out what it was Diana was saying.

“Diana this was five years ago and Anne made her feelings clear that evening”

“Clear? Clear? You gave her all of 30 seconds to decide her entire future that night. Worst of all you callously ignored the letter Anne wrote to you days later even though she told you she loved you.”

“What letter?”

Gilbert was leaning forward at this point, waiting for Diana's answer. She sat there confused as to what to say, wondering if she should continue or shut down the conversation.

“Anne told you she loved you. She left a letter on your kitchen bench. She even went to your house when we received our exam results to talk about the contents of the letter but you were not home.”

“I never received a letter. What you have revealed today is new to me.”

Diana brought a hand to her mouth her eyes widening to shock.

“You never received anything?”

Gilbert bowed his head before letting his gaze drop to his feet. He let out a small laugh at the absurdity of Diana's news.

“Well, your fates were written all along then. I thought you and Anne would come together but it didn't happen for reasons unknown. Now you both moved on and married, happy.” She said the word happy like it was a question.

The shrieks of laughter from the children outside suddenly grew loud. It wasn't until Gilbert was broken out of his reverie by Fred that he realised he had been sitting there mulling over Diana's question.

“Gilbert, I dare say the heat has gotten to you too. I'd offer you some assistance but I'm under orders from Anne to get Diana home and out of the heat.” With a clap on the back they were gone leaving Gilbert standing at the entrance hall of the doorway. From his vantage he could see Anne running about with the children a beaming smile across her face. His mind felt like it was wired to a thousand currents, thoughts were swirling around in a illogical pattern. Anne's aloofness made sense, of course it did. The way Diana explained it all made him appear uncaring? A cad? A disgrace.

_She loved you._

Gilbert excused himself from the picnic agreeing to meet Sebastian, Delphine and Elijah at the station for the 3pm train ride. He quickly said goodbye to Anne who didn't seem affected by his departure. Had he stayed he might have been tempted to pull her aside to verify her letter. When Sebastian asked what he had done with his afternoon Gilbert lied saying he visited Dr. Ward at his home.

Once Delphine was tucked up in bed asleep and the rest of the house sat around the fire Gilbert wanted to ask about the letter. It's just he didn't know how to say anything without evoking more questions, especially from Sebastian. Instead he decided to leave it alone. After all it was five years ago. Would it really matter, he kept asking himself? It wouldn't change a thing if he asked them and someone remembered Anne's forgotten declaration. Part of him wanted to apologise to Anne but knew it was not kind on Diana. No, this would have to be kept a secret. Perhaps Diana was right and their fates were decided for them and now he must choose how he will live out the rest of his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to include part of Diana's speech because it is the best! 
> 
> Thank you for your comments, kudos and paitence. In the next chapter Gilbert will receive a visit from Ruby and we'll find out what Anne thinks of Gilbert's return.


	7. Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne and Diana make a plan to help get Delphine into the Avonlea school so she can stay close to Sebastian. Anne contemplates her behaviour to Gilbert. Ruby invites Gilbert to morning tea with herself and Moody. Moody offers Gilbert marriage advice leading to a change in his plans.

After the family picnic Anne rode her bike to Diana's. Considering it was the first big school event they had run the day had been a success. With the long distance between Oak College and The Bog the family picnic allowed parents to see the children’s school, connect with other parents and feel part of the education process. Plus it was nice to indulge the students in a fun day before school started.

Everything had been planned right down to the minute. Even Diana's possibly needing to rest inside was included. Gilbert Blythe standing in the foyer with Delphine was not in any plan.

Granted it was not the first time they had come into contact. Finding Gilbert in the Green Gables kitchen was a shock but her mind was askew that day and she didn't give much thought to Gilbert thereafter. As she walked around Oak College showing Delphine she felt an age old anger rise from belly and bloom out to every appendage on her body. The anger she realised was for unanswered questions, something akin to a missing puzzle piece. By the time Anne arrived at Diana's her thoughts had calmed down cursing herself at the coolness of her behaviour. She didn't know why he was back, hadn't bothered to ask. He could be suffering a loss or trouble at the Blythe-Lacroix farm. When Gilbert pulled Anne aside to say sorry she sensed a sadness about him. The slight slump in his shoulders, toes shuffling and turned slightly inward were all subtle Gilbert mannerisms she knew something wasn't right.

Unfortunately her pride trampled any chance of empathy in the moment and now she felt ashamed for her actions.

Anne filled Diana in on the rest of the day trying to downplay how fun it was not wanting Diana to feel like she missed out. She confessed that Sebastian loved the school but was hesitant about sending Delphine so far away, a feeling Anne understood. His main concern was finding lodging in the Bog without being a burden on his friend and worried Delphine being disconnected from him could impact their relationship. Anne knew he didn't want to let her go nor break Mary's promise.

“I suggested to Bash that Delphine could board with me during the week. I have the space, after all.”

“And you are family to her,” Fred replied.

Diana agreed boarding with Anne to be the best option but knew Avonlea was the best place for Delphine at this age.

“Why don't we talk to Mrs. Lynde and Moody. I imagine a letter from a member of the board and the Minister would help sway the teacher to allow Delphine to attend Avonlea School.”

Everyone agreed on the plan. They decided to write a letter to Sebastian notifying them of their plan then write a seperate note to Mrs. Lynde, Moody and Ruby asking for their help.

Later that week it's Anne and Diana's letter Sebastian is reading aloud to his mother and Gilbert. It sounded like a good plan, one Sebastian hoped worked. He knew Mrs. Lynde was a force to be reckoned with but there were limits against her. Having the new Minister onside would be a bonus.

“Well look who comes up the road now, it's the minister wife. As Mrs. Lynde would say this would be considered providence,” tutted Hazel.

Quite and polite Ruby Gillis had become quite and polite Ruby Spurgeon MacPherson. As she sat in the drawing room of the Blythe homestead it was clear the role of Minister wife suited her well, or so Gilbert observed. She was warm, inviting and her conversation skills had improved beyond staring at Gilbert or giggling at Gilbert.

Ruby made a promise to Sebastian that both her and Moody would do what they could.

“And also know that when Moody takes up his position offically at the beginning of September, you and your family are welcome at the Church and our home. The door is always open.”

Sebastian thanked Ruby as they walked to the door with Gilbert.

“Before I leave, I do have a bone to pick with you Gilbert Blythe.”

With a smirk on his face Sebastian said his farewell and left Gilbert with Ruby at the front door.

“You have been back in Avonlea for a few weeks now, no visit to church, neither has there been a visit with friends. Did you seriously think you'd be able to sneak back here and not try to catch up with one of your oldest friends? Moody knows I no longer have a crush on you,” she said with tease and a light blush on her cheeks.

Gilbert could only chuckle.

“So you knew?” asked Ruby.

“Some of our classmates made it a point for me to know. But I...”

“...tried to be a gentlemen and ignore it so as to save my feelings. That's what Moody told me. He also said you had a crush on Anne and since I had dibs on you well, she couldn't act on her crush.”

“Anne had a crush on me?”

“I didn't see it until after I...well until after the fair. But once Tilly pointed it out well it was hard to unsee all the hints I missed since she arrived. School girl politics, it will get you.”

“Why wouldn't Anne have done anything about her feelings?”

“Silly, Anne didn't have any friends until she came to Avonlea. That's thirteen years. If she had even talked to you we foolishly told her we wouldn't be friends with her. Young girls can be so cruel. But it must not have been much of a crush because she didn't seem to mind when you brought Winifred to the fair. Listen to me prattling on like this. What I had wanted to say is Moody and myself would like to invite you over tomorrow for morning tea. I know Moody would love to see you.”

The following day Gilbert hitched the buggy and drove to Ruby and Moody's home, following Ruby's directions. Their front door and gables were indeed rose pink, freshly painted by Moody she had told Gilbert proudly.

What he didn't expect to hear as he strode to the door were the voices of children. In the short conversation he had with Ruby the day before there was no mention of children but then he never asked. Part of him wanted to visit his friends but this wasn't the pull to come home.

The oldest child Harriet is two and looks like Moody's mother, and Homer looks like Moody. Their presence at the meal helps to keep the visit light until Ruby ushered them away for their naps and give the men some time alone.

“Minster Spurgeon MacPherson, are you ready for your first sermon to Avonlea?” asked Gilbert.

“I would be if Mr. Allan would confirm he is indeed leaving. I get the feeling he doesn't want to go.”

“You'll be a breath of fresh air in this village, or should I say town. It's bustling these days.”

“It's not as busy as Charlottetown. I don't know how you manage London. When the position came up I had to apply. We are so much happier here, especially Ruby. Don't tell anyone but we are expecting a third. “

Gilbert beamed, jumping up to shake Moody's hand.

“And you? Any children?”

“No, it didn't happen. Probably for the best.” Gilbert sat back down taking a long drink of water. He always dreaded the question now simply because he was feeling relieved him he was not a father, at least not yet.

“May I be forward?” spoke Moody after a moment of contemplation.

“Of course,” replied Gilbert.

“Are you well? You snuck into town, haven't attended church, avoided your friends, you're here without Mrs. Blythe...and now you say not having children was for the best. Children are one of the main reasons why we get married.”

Gilbert rubs his hands over his cheeks. “I don't know, marriage has not been what I thought it would be.”

“A partnership does present some challenges but we make vows under God to guide us when times are tough..”

“...And I found out recently my life could have been very different. Happier.” Gilbert hadn't heard what Moody said spitting out the final sentence without a thought.

Moody pulls his chair closer to Gilbert who waits for a direction to take.

“I think you should return to London. I imagine it would be harder to mend a solid bridge across the Atlantic ocean. Teams work better when they are closer together and communicating with each other face to face.”

Elijah asked Gilbert stop by the post office to deliver a letter. It was hard to say no the man bouncing on his toes with a love letter in hand. The postmaster swapped Elijah's letter for two more. Gilbert only needed to glance at the foreign stamp to know they were from Winifred. He sighed deeply stuffing them into this pocket.

Gilbert eyed the telegram machine wondering if he should give in, apologise to Winifred and not bother to read her letters. In time everything would be forgotten and as Moody said being separated would not help to fix what was broken.

 _If you really wanted to fix this you wouldn't be hiding across the Atlantic,_ Gilbert thought to himself.

“A penny for your thoughts?”

Gilbert was brought back to earth by Matthew Cuthbert standing beside him as the postmaster handed a stack of parcels to him.

“Mr. Cuthbert, my thoughts wouldn't be worth a penny. Here let me get the door.”

Matthew thanked him striding out of the shop with a smile on his face. It's not that Matthew didn't smile but in public it was rare. Gilbert walked with him to his buggy just in case a parcel fell from the pile. He watched as he put them into the buggy pulling out one from the top.

“I was hoping this would be here today. Proud moment, don't mind me.”

Inside the brown paper was a picture book.

“ _Little Island Stories_ By A. W. Bouchard. My little girl a published author. She always wanted to write stories and she did it. She did it!” Matthew let a proud womp brandishing the book high. “Here take a copy for Delphine and yourself.”

Gilbert ran his fingers over the cover looking up at Gilbert confused. “What is the W for? I didn't think Anne had a middle name?”

“Ah, that would be for William. This was his idea. The stories are based on traditional fables from Mi'kmaq tribes. William and Anne collected them with approval from elders as way of preserving their stories. Money from sales is going back into the communities but the publisher doesn't know that part. Doubt they would say yes if they did. Getting this published was hard enough. But it's here, they did it.”

Gilbert nodded, his heart swelling with pride too. Anne hadn't changed. Anything she has ever done is for benefit of others.

“It's a wonderful project and a fine achievement. You'll have to pass on my congratulations to her and also Marilla.”

“Surely you'll be at the book launch. It's Thursday week at Diana and Fred's home.”

The memory of his last interaction with Anne and later Diana was still fresh in his mind. Truthfully he feared the memory would linger to close for some time.

“I will be in Charlottetown but won't be able to make it. I'm considering cutting my trip short and returning to London early.”

“Right, of course. Well, you make sure you stop by before leaving won't you.”

Gilbert nodded his cap at Matthew as he said goodbye, promising to see them before his journey to London.


	8. Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gilbert decides to travel back to London and face Winifred. Before he leaves a chance run in with Anne leads to a late night walk around Charlottetown rekindling their friendship.

The setting sun cast the platform at Bright River train station in an orange glow. Travellers stood ideally looking into the light for the train to appear.

“I understand you have never been one to communicate what is troubling you, Gilbert.”

“Sebastian, I can't talk about it. Every time I try my tongue becomes all tied up. Just know I have more clarity now but I do need to go back to London and sort everything out.”

“Are you absolutely positively sure?”

Gilbert didn't answer simply because he wasn't confident going back to London was right.

“As long as you are not fooling yourself by thinking going backwards and running away are different. Sometimes when we go back to somewhere we are running away from the truth. But I have to respect you know what it is you are doing.”

Gilbert kicked a rock onto the tracks watching it bounce across the metal.

“Before I leave there is something I want to do. I should have done years ago. I'm meeting with my fathers lawyer. I'll be transferring the deed of the farm to you. You'll be sole owner.”

Sebastian turned to him mouth dropped open and eyes wide. “Gilbert...”

“You have worked that land harder than me and turned a forgotten farm into a successful enterprise. You deserve it.”

“Thank you, I don't know what to say. You will to visit?” The last part was said after a pause. To Sebastian it almost felt like Gilbert was saying goodbye forever.

Gilbert shrugged his shoulders peering down the tracks. Part of him hurt to let the farm go, his last connection to the Island. The whole of his family were buried there. The other part was glad to cut the strings and have a fresh start. He'd sit in his childhood room or at the kitchen thinking about the dreams he made thwarted by rash decisions. So much of his life was spent trying to be like his father. Gilbert realised how good his father was at running from his troubles, choosing distraction rather than staying still to face them. It was time to slow down, stand face to face with his choices and make the most of it all.

Gilbert remembered old stories of his mother, the person he tried so hard to avoid becoming. His garandfather compared Rebecca Blythe to a bull, always standing her ground and demanding John stay to talk rather than run off to mend a fence or fix something. Now it was time invoke his mothers spirit and return to London, sort everything out. Perhaps then he'd find peace and start fresh.

“Is this the last time I'll see you?” asked Sebastian

“I don't know,” stammered Gilbert. He felt tears at the back of his eyes. “Maybe? I don't think Winifred or her family plans to come back here for a time.”

The two men hugged each other as the train pulled into the station. Sebastian tells him that if he isn't ready to get on the boat he can come back to the farm. Gilbert nods a silent thank you at his friend and boards the train.

Organising the deed transfer would take two days. Gilbert planned to stay in Charlottetown in the most expensive hotel, meet with the lawyer, then reschedule his tickets to London. Finally he would sleep and maybe read. He picked the Davies Hotel because it boasted a good restaurant meaning he didn't have to venture far from the hotel except for business. The plan was to avoid seeing anyone he knew, slip onto the boat and likely never come back to the Island.

As Gilbert is finishing his meal in the restaurant all of his plans are thwarted by running into Anne as he is about to exit.

“Gilbert Blythe!”

Anne didn't say his name, it was Cole Mckenzie. Cole jumped forward grabbing Gilberts hand and shaking it enthusiastically.

“Diana mentioned she travelled with you on the ship here. I didn't expect you'd still be in Canada. I'm already missing Paris.”

“You know how to make someone feel wanted,” replied Anne turning her nose up to both of them.

“Dear Anne, when you come to Paris you'll know what I mean.”

Anne shrugged at Cole's comment a big sigh falling from her lips. “You know I like being in one place not going to and fro. I can conjure up enough excitement here.”

Gilbert laughed as Cole rolled his eyes.

“Gilbert I thought you would agree with me. You've lived in Paris and London after all.”

“I would have to concede to agree with Anne on this. It's taken me a long time to realise staying in one place is preferred by me too.”

Cole introduces the gentlemen standing with them. His name is Henry Summers, a friend of Coles and fellow artist. Gilbert tells them he was just leaving but Cole holds him back insisting he stays for a drink. It's obvious Cole has been drinking with his raised voice, exaggerated actions and the occasional misstep of his foot even though he is standing still. It's exactly how his colleagues get when they have the occasional drink after work. Reluctantly Gilbert gives in to Cole's repeated request and follows the small party to their table trailing behind Anne.

Cole is quick to order drinks while lights a cigarette. Anne leans over to Gilbert whispering in his ear that Cole was indeed drunk and Henry on his way to intoxication too. She smelt of lilac perfume and sweet sherry. Gilbert wondered if Anne was tipsy too.

_It would explain her friendly behaviour if she was._

Her hair was piled onto of her head that fell about her face and neck. On anyone else it would look unkempt. But on Anne the runaway red tendrils hanging down her face and along the long neck gave her a ethrel look especially in the moody lighting of the dinning room. The smokey lavdener silk made her eyes more grey than blue tonight, two orbs moving around the room stealing looks at Gilbert the way he had just done.

Similarly she was contemplating how Gilbert looked when Cole read her mind when saying out loud that Gilbert had grown more handsome with age. The dim glow of the restaurant hid both Anne blush as if she had been caught out.

She had made the decision after the Oak College Picnic that if she were to run into Gilbert again then she could be kind and open. Just like it was before their friendship become muddled by love on her side.

_Certainly enough has passed that we can go back to that and I can leave old grudges in the past._

“Do I dare ask what it is you are all celebrating and for how long these celebrations have been happening?”

“Is it that obvious?” Cole asked his shoulder slumping.

“A little, yes. Especially because I rememberer how quite you were in school.”

“We are celebrating Anne's new children’s book,” replied Cole enthusiast. “Diana hosted a book launch today and well we decided to keep celebrating.”

“I don't know why, it's only a small collection of children’s stories,” replied Anne quietly.

“It's definitely worth celebrating,” said Gilbert turning to Anne. “I ran into Matthew at the post office. He kindly gave me a copy. I enjoyed it very much. So did Delphine. We read it several times together.”

Anne smiled at him as she said thank you for his appraisal.

“Matthew was proud and I imagine Marilla is too. He told me the profits would be going to Mi'kmaq communities. I don't know many people who would do that or even run a school for those less fortunate. You've always impressed me with your drive to do good and give back.”

“It's easier to make the choices when you have some money and resources.”

“That wasn't always the case. Growing up you displayed the same traits. I know a lot of people with money that do very little to help others.”

Anne's looked down at her hands her lips pursed together. He remembered how Anne always reacted when he gave her compliment. Gilbert was waiting for her to change the subject as she always used to. Instead she raised her head slowly, large grey eyes shinning at him and a small dimpled smile appearing on her face.

“Sorry, I'm not good at receiving compliments. I never have been. But thank you.” She clinked her glass with him taking a sip each.

“What brings you to this establishment and to Charlottetown, Gilbert. I thought Gilbert would have you busy with farm chores?”

“Sebastian fired me and sent me packing. Said I was a hopeless farmer. Truthfully two reasons. One, I am meeting with our family lawyer to transfer the deed of the farm to Sebastian and his family, second--” Anne had grabbed Gilberts arm, her eyes went wide with shock like Sebastians.

“Oh Gilbert, Sebastian must be happy, feeling overwhelm no doubt, but thrilled. His own piece of land! Sorry, what was two?”

“Two is booking my return to London, beginning my journey is a few days.”

Anne's hand continued to hold onto his arm giving it a light squeeze. “Did you travel all this way to hand over the deed?”

“Yes,” he said taking a sip of his drink while averting his eyes should she tell he was lying.

Cole and Henry were talking amongst themselves leaving Anne and Gilbert on their own. Anne asked questions about Paris and London, listening as he filled her in on his research at the Royal College on wound healing and ways to speed up the process with ointments made of different plants and experimenting with various types of dressings. It had been a long time since someone had asked him so many questions about his work right down to the flower properties and measurements of each test. It made the the long hours in a lab testing and retesting formulas worth it just to hear a shared excitement.

Cole snapped his fingers between Anne and Gilbert.

“Finally! We have been trying to get your attention for the last ten minutes. I remember Diana telling me you two would get so wrapped up in each others conversations you'd forgot anyone else was around. I didn't believe it. But after tonight, I do.”

Anne and Gilbert looked sheepishly at each other as they eased themselves out of their chairs. It did feel like they were young again talking excitedly about a topic as the rest of the world unknowingly fell away.

The restaurant had emptied of everyone but them. Anne, Gilbert, Cole and Henry thanked the staff as they exited onto the street. The night air felt sweet and salty against Gilbert's skin as the group began walking slowly along the pavement feeling merry and warm from the drinks. Gilbert was definitely feeling jolly from his drinks.

They walked on chatting into the night until the town centre began to disappear behind them. Gilbert suddenly realises the hotel is in the opposite direction pausing on the wooden footpath.

“Anne I have a confession to make.”

“What is wrong?”

“My hotel is back that way and I'm walking away from it to...I don't know where.”

Anne starts laughing, “Do you remember when you walked me home from your house the summer before Delphine arrived and we were arguing about something. We ended up taking a wrong turn without realising and discovered Hester's forgotten garden?”

Gilbert paused thinking about the afternoon Anne was talking about. The secret garden forgotten by most of Avonlea they chanced upon while lost in argument over Frankenstin.

“How could I forget.”

Gilbert's voice was soft like velvet remembering the way Anne marveled at the pocket of Eden.

He had never forgotten the memory of Anne walking around the garden in a dream like state admiring each flower and plants in full bloom. She had asked him over and over the garden was real or a dream. They sat on a log nestled between foxglove fragrant ferns as the sun dipped lower in the sky painting the sky in hues of pink, purple and orange. Gilbert told Anne the story of Hester and her garden, a tale of love and devotion. It was the moment he realised the boyhood crush was much more. As Anne talked about rescuing the little stone cottage here Gilbert was imagining them working side by side, building a life together. There was a hearth fire, a cat and dog, the sound of children and Anne.

“We snuck back there to watch the meteor shower in October,” he said.

“There was a time when we did everything together Gilbert.”

All he could do was nod his head in agreement. Afraid to say anything should she hear how the memories share made his heart ache.

“Cole and Henry have left me. I suppose you are walking me home. Would you mind?”

Gilbert shook his head and held out his arm for her to take. He watched her pause knowing she was contemplating if she should take it. A peek inside her mind would tell him yes she was unsure. The same ache of the past winding its way through Gilbert was also tormenting Anne.

“I know a short cut through a dear little park.”

They walked slowly along the streets, Anne filling Gilbert in on the endeavours of their old classmates after he mentioned his morning tea in a certain pink gabled house. Tilly married a foreign missionary, both of them in Japan. Charlie proposed to Josie but was knocked back. Josie decided to study Law at Redmond University. The Paul's married a set a twins from White Sands. Miss Stacy was in Toronto writing for a local newspaper.

“This is it.” Anne pointed as they rounded a large stone wall. “It's nothing like Hester's but there are pockets of delight to hide away in when the city becomes too big and loud.”

She grabbed Gilbert's hand pulling him to a corner hidden behind a drooping willow tree. “Back here are black cherries, they help relieve a lung condition like pneumonia. This one tucked away on this side is bloodroot and can be used to treat eczema but I've only had it mixed with maple syrup for a sore throat. The small purple flowers are called heal all or prunella vulgaris. They heal the skin, for burns, wounds. This delicate beauty is Lobelia and like black cherry is helpful for the lungs. If you follow me...wait, what are you doing?”

Gilbert was crouched beside the Prunella vulgaris pulling up the small plants from the roots.

“You said these heal burns and wounds. I need to do more research, they could change wound management.”

Anne stepped forward snatching the plants from his hands. “This is not your land. These are not your plants. The healing knowledge passed to me is from Miꞌkmaq the owners of this land. You are another settler wanting to take and profit.”

“They could help humanity, Anne.”

“Converse with the owners of this land, ask permission first. Do you know how much they have lost as white people continue to sweep through taking and taking and taking.”

Anne throws the plants to the ground her whole body heaving.

“I'm sorry Anne. I...I have been spending too much time with people that only care about money and fame.”

She put the heals of her hands under her eyes trying to stop tears from leaving her eyes.

“It's hard to watch everything being taken from a group of people because they look and act different . Look at Delphine. She doesn't have any friends in her own town because of her skin colour. I'm just tired of watching groups of people looking like you and me act and think like they are better and can do what they want. I lost my husband because of a disease introduced by us. Ka'kwet and hundreds of children are stolen from their families. We go back to our comfortable warm homes built on stolen land by stolen people while they are shut out of stores, hospitals, schools.”

Gilbert had never seen Anne cry like this before. There had been happy tears and a sad tear from a story in class. Then there were the tears at Mary's funeral. This was different. Her body body was shaking, the crumbled plants at her feet. Gilbert stepped forward wrapping his arms around Anne. He had never comforted Anne before, at least not like this. Gilbert remembered all of the times she had been there for him. It was nice to finally be there for an old friend.

“I'm sorry. You are right, Anne. You are absolutely right. Do you know why it hurts and angers you the most? Because you feel everything so deeply. You always have. How about I finish walking you home?”

With a nod she moves out of his arms leading them from the park.

Annes home is a two story sandstone townhouse in a row of similar homes on top of a rise looking back towards the town. Her front garden was filled with wildflowers a contrast to the neat and ordered gardens either side. They linger at the gate talking about her neighbours, how sharing walls with them has it's perks like being able to listen to music being played. When a Anne and Gilbert yawned at the same time they knew it was finally time to say goodnight.

“When do you leave?” asked Anne.

“Friday”

“I'll admit I'm a bit sad we reconnected so close to your departure.”

“Me too. If this is the last time we are to see each other for a while I do hope you know how proud I am of you. You inspired me when we were young and that has not changed. I know it's tough at the moment with Diana and you are scared for her, scared of losing her. Just don't let the fear overwhelm you ok.”

“How did you know?”

“I would be too,” Gilbert replied.

“You are right, as always...”

“Wait, did you say as always? Was I always right?” Gilbert said sarcastically earning a roll of the eyes from Anne.

“I must be tired if I said that. Good luck in London. I'm so glad life turned out exactly as you planned. Dr. Blythe.”

Anne walked backwards to her front door waving to Gilbert as she did. Once she was safely inside Gilbert took a deep breath then started towards the dim lights in the city centre. He was crossing the road when he heard his name being whispered behind him.

“Wait, Gil,” he turned around to see Anne jogging towards him. “This is my address. Want to be pen pals?”

Gilbert takes the piece of paper smiling as he tucks it into his pocket. He thinks of kissing her on the cheek and she thinks he might too. A dog barks in the distance breaking through the thought.

“Goodnight Anne.”

“Goodnight Gilbert, safe travels.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments and kudos. Next chapter we find out why Gilbert left London.


	9. Nine

The sun is high in the sky when Anne finally wakes up. In her haste to prepare for bed the drapes had been clumsily pulled together leaving spaces between the folds of fabric for the sun to peep through and heat the room to an uncomfortable temperature.

Rising late was not a common occurrence. Even on days when Anne had nothing to do, she would to find something to busy her hands rather than lounge in bed.

Anne flipped her pillow over, finding relief on the cool fabric, her eyes resting on William's portrait . Every morning began with study of his photo, eyes tracing every millimetre of his kind face, missing him. Sometimes she'd just look, then get up, and start her day. There would be days Anne would talk to his photo outlining the chores ahead as if he was there beside her.

Anne was about to ask out loud what kept her in bed so long. The hazy outline of a dream came to her, pressing fingers to her lips remembering the kiss as music played faintly in the background.

She gasped at the realisation of who was in her dream, quickly turning away from William's portrait should he somehow happen to see inside her mind.

_I shouldn't be having a dream about another man, let alone Gilbert Blythe, a married man._

Flinging back the bed covers Anne dashed to the window opening the drapes and yanking the glass pane up. She took in a deep breath as a rush of fresh air hurried into the room while trying to conjure up as many memories of William as she could.

A knock at the front door pulls Anne from her tangle of guilty thoughts. Looking down from her window she sees Cole and Henry with a basket in their hands.

“Diana...I'm supposed to be at Diana's!”

Gilbert closes the door of his lawyers office with a satisfied sigh. Transferring the deed of the farm to Sebastian had moved faster than he planned. A glance at his gilded pocket watch told him it was a little early for lunch back at the hotel. His plan had been to visit the lawyer, have lunch, then purchase his ticket for the first leg of his journey to London.

“Blythe, Blythe.” Gilbert's attention turned to find Fred Wright walking down the wooden boardwalk in his direction.

“Fred,” answered Gilbert as the two shook hands enthusiastically. “It's great to see you again.”

“For all the plans we made on the ship from London to properly catch up once on the Island have not materialised, have they?”

Gilbert shook his head feeling remorseful he spent most of his time hiding in Avonlea instead of making an effort to see one of his oldest friends,

“I'm free now. Early lunch, my shout?”

“I'l take you up on the offer, Blythe. I just finished my last meeting for the day. Diana is hosting some friends to help plan a ladies tea in celebration of our expanding family and I'll happily stay out of their plans”

The hotel Fred suggests is where he usually takes business lunches, one street over from the main road, close to the boarding houses his clients from out of town would stay. Both men comment a lunch away from the office is not a common occurrence. Every quarter or so, Fred is permitted to treat farmers to a meal when they venture in the big city to renew trade contracts or if he is booked to meet young men taking over the family business.

Gilbert lets Fred order for both of them, trusting his judgement on the menu and permits him the opportunity to share a beer with him. They talk over trivial topics; politics in Canada, then politics in the motherland, work, weather, their old teacher Mr. McCocker whose name sent both into fits of laughter the same way it did when they were young.

“One more beer?”

The one beer Gilbert agreed to had become two making this his third. Fred did not look ready to leave, and truthfully neither was Gilbert.

“I had planned to visit the steamer office to purchase a ticket. Do they still close at five?”

“Ticket? Are you leaving already. I'm bloody glad I ran into to you then. Slinking away without a goodbye, tsk tsk. When you heading?”

“I don't know, Vancouver. Vancouver would do.”

Fred thumped his hand on the table with a laugh, “When. Not where, you drunk fool.”

Gilbert laughs back at his friend, “I'm not drunk, at least not yet.” Before he can say anything else Fred waves for two move beers.

“Not wanting to return to London. Thinking of running away to Vancouver? Sound like your old man.” Fred's remark is like cold water thrown on a fire. He notices the turn in Gilbert's demeanour and apologises for his comment. Gilbert doesn't say a word, instead takes a steady gulp of the fresh pint in front of him.

“Is everything OK, in London I mean?”

Gilbert chuckles softly keeping his eyes on the glass in front of him as condensation drips down the outside. “What would you do if your wife had been unfaithful to you? Would you stay?”

He chances a glance to see Fred's face drop. Pity. Having to deal with the look of pity was the exact reason why he didn't admit to Bash or Moody the reason for this visit.

“I'm sorry Gilbert, I --”

“What's there to be sorry for. I'm wondering if it's a blessing or a lesson, I can't decide.”

“A lesson?” prompts Fred.

“Acting like my father, making decisions without thinking. I rushed into a marriage knowing my heart was still with Anne. Try as we did, Winifred and myself never had anything more than a friendship. I care for her, but I failed, to ever fall in love with Winnie. And I don't know if she truly loved me like she said. Perhaps that's why she strayed? I don't blame Winifred for it all – we both played a part I guess.”

“Anne – Diana's Anne?”

“--and then at the recent school picnic Diana confesses Anne had been in love with me. There was allegedly a note right before I proposed to Winifred. I should have slowed down. The purpose of my trip was to put space between myself and Winifred, figure out if I should stay in my marriage or leave. Unlike my father I have decided to return to London and talk to Winifred, perhaps see how we can fix what has become broken...perhaps make it stronger, make it work.”

“You have made a decision then?”

Gilbert nodded, “Yes, I think I have.”

“Will you be happy?”

Fred was always the sentimental one out of them both. Gilbert used to wonder if it was because he had a mother to hug him and a father that wasn't sad standing still.

“What else can I do? Divorce, return to Canada – I don't think Anne would have me, not after all this time. She probably wouldn't believe me.”

“Wait, are you saying you still love Anne? After all this time?”

Gilbert shrugs his shoulders as if to say what does it matter. Fred smiles sadly, understanding what his friend wants to say but won't. He decides it's best to take Gilbert back to his accomodation and say goodbye, should the conversation continue and Gilbert changes his mind.

Fred arrives home to find Diana laying on top of covers of their bed. He tries to sneak back out but Diana sits up saying she can smell the beer from the other side of the room. The tone of her voice tells him something else has upset her and comes to sit down beside his wife.

“I'm taking the tea party planning didn't go so well?”

“Anne is overbearing. Constantly telling me what to do, what to eat, when to rest. I know she means well and her advice is a way of caring, but...but I can't stand it anymore. I know what you are going to say. The baby is making her act this way.” Two tears fell down Diana's face. “She doesn't realise her anxiety is starting to make me scared and I'm finding it harder to enjoy this time or daring to be happy.”

Fred wraps an arm around his wife as she drops her head to his chest. “Have you spoken to her about this? I could have a word if you like.”

Diana sits up wiping her tears away. “No, no. I should talk to her and be honest. She is going back to Avonlea for Matthews birthday, on her return I'll have a word. Speaking of honest, you smell like you have been nowhere close to honourable today! Long lunch with a client?”

Fred stood up and walked to the door closing it quietly, before coming back to stand in front of Diana. “I had lunch with Gilbert and a beer or two.”

“Why are you closing the door? It's only Millie in the kitchen.”

“Uh yes, well...Gilbert confessed his wife Winifred has been unfaithful. He returned to figure out if they should divorce.”

Diana gasped, her eyes were wide with shock. “Are you sure?”

“Yep, and that's not the only thing he confessed. He's still in love with Anne.”

“Are you sure?”

Fred nodded. “Gilbert was in a bad state, very confused. I took him back to his hotel so he can sleep the beers off. Tomorrow he'll be able to book his ticket and follow through with this plans.”

“and they are?”

“To return to London and continue his marriage with Winifred.”

Diana stood up and grabbed Fred's hands. Dear sweet Fred, whose face was even redder than usual.

“Good. I don't think Anne needs to know about this. He's made his decision again, and this time I think it's the right one for both of them.”

Gilbert's wakes from his tipsy sleep as the sunset appears in his hotel room. He lays on the bed with his back against the headboard, taking sips of water hoping it will ease the thumping headache approaching. The conversation with Fred plays over his his thoughts and Gilbert makes a vow to never drink again.

He puts down the cup, picks up Winifred's unopened letters, and begins slicing each envelope open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the slow update. The next chapter will be sooner rather than later. Thanks to those sticking with it.


	10. Ten

Matthew's birthday was celebrated alongside his family without fanfare. Once upon a time Anne would tease Matthew for his quite birthdays. It would frustrate her younger self – how could anyone want to mark the day with only a small cake. Anne had been horrified to find out Matthews birthday a cake had been notoriously absent only becoming a fixture on his day of birth after her arrival at Green Gables.

With maturity Anne now understood Matthew's yearning for a quite day marked with a simple cake. He never worked on this day, instead taking time out of the hard work the farm presented to sit lazily on the verandah reading, talking, smoking his pipe.

The long days working on the farm were dwindling as Matthew's age crept up. Jerry and Imogen had taken on more responsibility. While it had never been discussed openly, everyone knew Jerry would be running Green Gables within the year.

Anne had lingered at Green Gables until the next day sneaking pieces of the leftover cake and playing with baby Emma, offering Imogen a few hours of respite until she decided to leave.

It was with a belly full of cake, Anne readjusted her backpack as she crossed the fields between Green Gables and the Lacroix homestead. Prior to the news of Diana and Fred's baby Anne hadn't felt the need to disappear from the world as she would after Joyce and William's earthly departures. Lately her mind felt frayed with worry and sadness, it was the peace in nature that provided a salve for her whole being.

Before she headed into the woods Anne had to speak to Sebastian about Delphine. Marilla informed her the new teacher arrived a day ago. Marilla relayed Mrs. Lynde's description of her; tall, tightlipped and not as outwardly friendly like Miss. Stacy.

Anne had been a regular and welcomed visitor at the farm as Delphine grew older. She would always bring William along and Sebastian become close with him during their visits. He enjoyed the ease of William's personality, a rare combination of curiosity and lack of ego allowed Sebastian to find a confidant and a good friend in the young man.

After a quick game of hide and seek in the orchard with Delphine, Anne ushered the young girl to help Hazel in the kitchen so she could speak with Sebastian.

He had also received a visit from Mrs. Lynde and a breakdown of what the new teacher seemed to be like. Her description didn't give him much hope for Delphine being allowed at the school.

“Rachel could be wrong about her. It's not the first and I doubt will be the last time her judgment is wrong. You should have heard how she described me when we first met.”

Sebastian chuckled knowing full well Rachel Lynde was quick to judge.

“She suggested I shouldn't go to visit with her yet,” he replied. “And I don't know if you should either.”

Anne nodded, “From Rachel's description Miss. Brooke likes order and procedures. I think it will be best to have Rachel or Moody meet with her about this, then introduce you without Delphine.”

“Yes, without Delphine would be wise. I don't want to subject her to that kind of rejection yet. Your school friend Moody is to have his first sermon this coming Sunday, we'll be attending with Matthew and Marilla.”

“Ruby told me she was going to invite you all. I'm happy to hear your family will be going.”

“Judging by the backpack I'm guessing you won't be attending?”

Anne gave the bag a light nudge with her foot, letting Sebastian know her answer with a shake of her head.

“It does get easier, Anne. I won't pretend to know what it's like to loose your partner and a child, but the ache you feel, I know that. It's still here inside me just not as big and overwhelming. Diana's news is scary and you're afraid to loose her or you're scared she'll experience the same loss you did. But you can't let that fear keep you or others from living their life.”

Anne picks up a flower Delphine left on the ground twirling it around her fingers contemplating how to reply. The same silence follows as it has similar conversations with Marilla, Matthew, and Rachel. Instead she gives Sebastian the flower before picking up her bag to leave ignoring Sebastian's sigh.

As Anne walked down Newbridge road towards her destination she mulled over Sebastian's words. She knew Sebastian was right. Cole had pulled her up on the behaviour towards Diana after the tea party planning afternoon. She hadn't admitted to anyone the constant anxiety over Diana's pregnancy was keeping her awake at night.

Anne's thoughts were interrupted by a lone figure further ahead on the road. It was a man carrying a suitcase in one hand walking in her direction.

“What on earth...Gilbert Blythe?” Anne whispered.

His head was bent down focusing on a rock he was kicking along the road, missing the women dressed in slacks and a white shirt walking towards him.

“Did you miss your boat?” Anne yells at him.

Gilbert's head looks up and he stops walking alarmed to hear Anne's voice. She smiles as he starts moving again waving as he gets closer.

“Aren't you supposed to be on the way home to London?” she asks as he comes to stop in front of her. He looks as if he walked here from the train station. His sleeves were rolled up, shirt front damp with sweat. A glance down at his shoes showed them to be covered in dust.

Gilbert replied “The ferry was booked out.”

“You couldn't get a seat on tomorrow's ferry? Or Sunday?” she says wth a teasing smile. He didn't seem to be in a jovial mood. There were circles under his hazel eyes and he struggled to smile. Anne dropped her backpack between them pulling out a bottle of water for him. “I'm glad to see you, surprised. Sebastian didn't mention you were coming back.”

“He doesn't know. Are you going camping in the woods?” asks Gilbert pointing to her bag as he takes a sip of her water.

Anne tilts her head wondering how he knows about her jaunts away thinking everyone must talk about her.

“Looks like we are both running away.”

“I'm not running away,” Gilbert replies curtly. Anne raises her eyebrows in response telling him without words she doesn't believe him.

“Well I'd love to stay and talk to you but the sun is setting. I need to get to my camp site before it gets too dark.”

Gilbert hands back the glass bottle. “What are you running from?”

“What we spoke about the other night when you walked me home. I'm scared for Diana. I can't sleep. The only place I can sleep is amongst the trees, away from everything.” Anne picks up her bag throwing it into her shoulders. “Are we saying goodbye again? Or are you staying?”

“I'm probably going to be leaving soon – I already had my seat booked on the ferry. It was hard to change the dates and go back early. So this could be goodbye, yes.”

Anne holds out her hand to shake his, still not believing anything Gilbert was claiming. “Well, good luck. It was good to see you again.”

He took her hand in his, shaking it for longer than was necessary, neither of them breaking eye contact. Gilbert sees the playful glint in her eye and he's close to admitting he is running away, that his mind is as wound up as hers. When she drops his hand he misses the contact against his skin. With a small wave Anne starts walking away.

“I haven't slept in months.”

Anne spins around on her heels, the glass jars in her bag clanging together. Her reply spills out of her before she has time to think it over.

“Do you want to come?”

“Camping?” Gilbert queried back.

Anne nodded, “We can run away together.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two updates in one week, a bit proud of myself for that. It's obvious already but the next chapter is Gilbert camping with Anne.
> 
> I'm not entirely sure how people from Prince Edward Island travelled to Europe. My guess is they travelled by ferry to the Nova Scotia, caught a train to Halifax, and sailed from there to Southampton, UK.


	11. Eleven

Gilbert farewelled Anne mid morning. He had offered to escort her to the Newbridge turn but she insisted Gilbert continue onto the farm and talk to Sebastian. 

Anne didn't know why Gilbert's plans had been abandoned only that he wasn't one hundred percent ready to return to London. There were moments during their night together when Gilbert wanted to talk about it all. Anne's practical guidance would help unravel the wound up thoughts in his head and heart. 

Yet it wasn't that simple and Gilbert knew it. Spilling Winifred's betrayal was not fair on anyone, including Anne. Not for the reason Anne was battling her own troubles. It was because the events leading up to Winifred's extramarital affair began when Gilbert married a women he tried to love but couldn't. 

Diana's confession about Anne's letter tipped the axis even further in his already shaken world. He tried and failed to forget about it and let the mishap remain in the past. Instead his childhood room was turned upside down days before he had left the farm to return to London. Boxes were emptied, books shaken out. In place of the mysterious letter Gilbert found his undelivered schoolboy confessions addressed to Anne. Some were sweet and short, others consisted of long essays detailing the varying details he loved about her. The there were the illicit admissions scribbled out in haste that even now made him blush. 

As Gilbert read over each letter it cemented the truth he'd never stop being in love with her. His letters a piercing reminder the candle still burned and always would. The realisation was like having the wind knocked out of him. After announcing his engagement Gilbert expected his unrequited feelings for Anne would stop. Five years on the he was only now facing the facts. Had he faced the truth sooner perhaps it wouldn't have festered beneath the surface manifesting in other ways during his marriage that would ultimately lead Winifred to find comfort from another. 

Gilbert was angry at his own cowardly behaviour. His actions had prevented Winifred from finding someone's whose affection and desire were unwavering. Is it any wonder she sought to be craved by another. 

Winifred's letters were full of apologies, begging him to return home. He knew a divorce would tarnish both of their reputations especially Winifred's. Staying with her would save unkind rumours, a way to say sorry for ruining her life in the first place. Gilbert was set to do this, bags packed ready to begin the journey to London. But he couldn't get the other option out of his mind. If he went through with a divorce Winifred would have the chance to love and be loved by someone more worthy than himself. Neither would have to play the charade. 

It was making this life changing decision that originally brought him back to Avonlea in the first place. He needed counsel from his fair and brave brother, to say goodbye forever to his Island home or make plans to return for good. Upon arrival Gilbert couldn't ask for help afraid of what Sebastian might think or say. 

His feet wouldn't move onto the gangplank. The last call was made for passengers and he stood there watching the last frantic leaps aboard. As the departure horn sounded Gilbert turned around headed for the train station. No matter what Sebastian thought or advice he offered, at least he'd know the truth. 

Of course seeing Anne on the trek from Bright River Station to Avonlea was not in his plan. Neither was saying yes to Anne's offer to camp out with her. 

If Anne felt equal unease at the rash invitation it didn't show. She lead them off the dirt road and into the woods taking them south of Avonlea. It had been a long time since Gilbert had walked amongst dense growth. He wasn't used to ducking and weaving his way around branches and fallen logs trying to keep up with the Anne as she moved with ease. 

They emerged from the dark woods into a narrow meadow illuminated by the setting sun. On the other side was Hester Gray's Garden. 

“Is this where you come to?”

Anne hesitated then shook her head. She didn't need to explain it to Gilbert. Anne wasn't going to take him where she mourned her husband William and their child. Instead she chose a place familiar to them, for him. “I understand.”

She nodded her head with a smile. “Thank you.”

They walked into the garden commenting on the way it had grown and altered. The stones in the cottage wall were barely visible as green vines grew over the structure, taking it apart back and into the earth. 

Anne had dropped her camping pack next to a Mulberry tree flopping down next to it.

Gilbert reached up to touch the not yet ripe berries. He thought about the afternoon here with Anne, stained fingers from gorging on the ripe fruit and the curses Mary uttered when he returned with stains on his shirt.

“Apparently the Mulberry tree represents courage, focus and insight. I've read that sleeping with the leaves tucked beneath your head can lead to occultist dreams. People carry them as a talisman for strength and courage.”

“It's also a symbol of death.” Gilbert said. “We had a Mulberry tree once. Father cut it down after my mother passed away. Thought it cursed him.”

“Death has different meanings and not all is sad. The death of the people we love, yes that's sad. Then there is the death within ourselves leading to rebirth and new beginnings. Since the Mulberry represents courage and focus, I like to think its meaning represents the latter. Facing our fears is a type of death that can provide the courage, focus, and insight to move forward.” Her face was turned up to him, eyes creased by her reassuring smile. “I know how annoying it can be to be asked constantly if you are OK or do you want to talk. I understand from our last meeting you were supposed to be on the way to London and now are back in Avonlea again. I won't bombard you with questions but if you wish to talk or unburden your mind, I'm here to listen.”

It was Gilbert's time to nod and say thank you. True to her word, Anne didn't ask again that night. 

“and you? Do I ask why you are out here running away?”

Anne huffed falling back against the ground. “You touched on it the other night. Diana's upcoming arrival has me feeling anxious amongst other things. Did you know she's due around the time Joy was born and -" Anne paused swallowing hard, unable to say the word passed. "I keep fretting over her and I know it's irritating. She won't tell me. I just -”

“Feel like looking after Diana and her child is safe is redemption?”

Gilbert watched Anne close her eyes. She turned her head away from him looking towards the crumbling cottage. He took a breath as he sat down next to her. 

“I'm sorry that was insensitive.” 

“You are right.” Anne's voice was a whisper. She turned back to face him, eyes shinning with unshed tears. “After the birth I felt like I failed my daughter even though deep down I know her death was out of my hands. I don't want Diana to know what losing a child feels like. It's so stupid to be worried over something I have no control over. But the fear engulfs me. It's paralysing. I don't know why I do this, running away to the woods. It's like i'm stuck. Mrs. Lynde likes to remind me she lost two children, as have many other mothers. Why is it taking me so long to go back to normal?”

“If you can't talk to Diana have you spoken to anyone about how you feel?”

Anne shook her head pulling herself up to sitting position. “Anytime I have thought about talking to anyone, a rage builds up inside me. William was the only one who understood the anger. Then he was taken from me too. My anger dwells inside me alongside my anxiety like a volcano ready to burst. Nature seems to be the only place I can rest my mind.”

Gilbert jumped to his feet. “Come with me.” He marched towards the stone cottage in long strides. Anne followed standing behind him at a distance watching as Gilbert reached down collecting stones from the grass. Walking back he handed Anne a stone. “Get angry.” Before she could ask what he mean Gilbert threw a stone at the house. It shattered across the wall the impact echoing through the garden. He repeated the action again. “Try it.”

Gilbert stepped back giving Anne space. She squared her shoulders, lifted her chin, drew her arm back, and boom! 

“Get me another please.” He jogged to the building picking up as many as he could dumping them at her feet. 

Before the sun disappeared Gilbert helped Anne set up the tent and a small fire built mainly to keep mosquitoes away. Inside Anne's bag was a humble feast of bread, cheese, pickled radish, chutney, with foraged raspberries enjoyed for dessert. In between they spoke of books they had read, Gilbert shared his many trips to Scotland happily answering every question Anne asked. By firelight they played card games bringing out competitive nature of their youth. In between were stretches of silence as they listened to the night time world come to life. 

Everything felt like a dance. The rhythm of knowing when to speak with their mouths or with their eyes; when to be quite or when to laugh loud; to walk around or stretch out beneath the stars. It was the same natural rhythm that existed harmoniously before the last spring of their school year. 

This hadn't been the first time either of them had sat beneath a velvet sky in Hester Grey's garden together. Miss Stacy had come to school bursting with excitement. A meteor shower was shower was predicted to appear over Prince Edward Island. Anne had thought it would be more magical to watch it from a garden as old and magical as Hester Gray's. Anne grabbed Gilbert's hand when the first trails of starry light zoomed across the sky, scared at the the way the dark sky suddenly moved. She didn't let go until it was over. It was on that same night Gilbert scribbled out the first of many the unsent confessions for Anne. 

Anne woke before Gilbert. The first thing she notices is how close their hands were. Pinkies almost linked together. He lays on his side facing her, breath coming out in steady puffs tickling her cheek. She notices how much younger he looks sleeping. 

A branch from the Mulberry tree falls onto the tent. It made a tap tap tap against the calico wall as it rolled down. Anne smiled as Gilbert's mouth twitched and eyes fluttered open. She should have known he was a light sleeper. 

“I don't think I have felt this rested in years.”

Another smaller twig fell onto the tent. “I'd forgotten we had a Mulberry tree. It was on the east side of the house at Summerside.” There was a pause. “I'm scared i'm forgetting things, our house, what he looked like.”

“Tell me about him.” Gilbert put a hand on top of hers smiling softly. 

Anne chuckled squeezing his hand. “William was quite, terrible singer, always woke up first and would bring a cup of tea to me in bed. Loved teaching. His pupils didn't just respect him, they adored him. Everyone did really. He was taller than me, taller than everyone. Made it easy to find him in a crowd though. Loved the city life but craved nature more. We received this tent as a wedding present from his parents and we would take it out every chance we had. He didn't like mulberries but loved blueberries. At his funeral every pew was filled and people were lined up along the side, standing outside trying to listen in.”

“Are you sure he was quite?”

Anne's eyes grew wide surprised at Gilbert's jest. She rolled onto her back laughing loudly Gilbert joining in with her. “You're right an overflowing church doesn't sound like a quite man.”

“I'm so happy you were loved by a good person. I wish I could have met him.” Anne gave his hand a gentle squeeze. 

“Are you happy?”

“I think I will be. Thank you for inviting me to run away. You gave me something I didn't know I needed. I'll head back to the farm soon. There are some conversations I need to have with Sebastian.”

The tent was packed away quickly as the morning winds picked up. They left the garden taking berries and apples for their breakfast. Before Anne says goodbye to Gilbert she hands him a small branch bursting with green leaves from mulberry tree. “For strength and courage. Before you go home see me, won't you?”

He says yes, but then she knew the answer before asking from the dream she had last night. 

Anne had tucked away her own Mulberry leaves into her pocket. She twirls the leaves around her face as she enters the school lingering on the memory of last night. A weight had shifted within her. When she dropped her camping bag in the entrance of Oak College she feels drawn to pack it away for a while. 

“Anne where have you been?”

Diana was sitting at the large desk a frustrated look on her face. 

“I was camping. I needed to get away, look Diana I want to ap--” Diana up from her seat letting out a growl as she picked up her papers. “Anne you know I wish you wouldn't do run off into the woods on your own, it's not safe.” 

“I wasn't alone. Gilbert was with me and we...”

“Gilbert Blythe? Gilbert Blythe, married man, who is supposed to be on a boat to London?” Diana interjects. 

“He's – somethings wrong and he wasn’t ready to go. It was...”

Diana starts stuffing the papers into her case. “This is scandalous. You spent a night with a married man!”

“Nothing scandalous happened.” Anne can feel heat rushing to her cheeks. 

“I bet his wife would believe that. What about you? Your reputation? William? The school? You risked all of that?” Diana hissed slamming her case shut. 

“It was nothing – nothing happened. Honestly Diana, you should calm down for the baby.”

Anne hadn't seen Diana angry like this before, and never to her. She suddenly felt small and wracked with guilt it was making her head ache. Why did she feel guilty all of a sudden?

“Winifred cheated on him. Did he tell you that?” Anne shook her head wondering how Diana knew this. “Of course he didn't. Why would we expect that from Gilbert Blythe? I bet Gilbert wanted something to happen. Probably only spent the night with you to get back at her. I'm going to wait for my husband outside.”

Diana didn't turn around. The only sound was her heels as she walked across the foyer followed by the loud bang of the front door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for any typos. I really wanted to get this chapter finished as it was a hard one to write.
> 
> I changed the title of this fic. My original choice never felt right. I still don’t know if this is the right title...
> 
> Link to Mulberry meaning https://shirleytwofeathers.com/The_Blog/magickal-ingredients/mulberry-magick-and-lore/


	12. Twelve

The Board of Trustees met at the White Sands Hotel as they have done since the establishment was built. Its group is made up of representatives from each of the north school districts on Prince Edward Island; Avonlea and Carmody, Bright River, Spencervale to West Grafton, White Sands and Newbridge. Collectivity they appointed new teachers, oversaw the general curriculum, and delegated funds for building upgrades. Mrs. Lynde held power over the representatives of Avonlea and had been successful in swaying her colleagues to allow young Delphine LaCroix the opportunity to attend the school. Today she would need to convince everyone else in the district.

The new teacher Miss Katherine Brooks had traveled with her to the meeting as was protocol for new and current teachers. The two had come together quickly as friends after their first meeting to discuss the situation. Rachel liked Katherine's firm, rational, methodical approach to teaching and life in general. She was fast to tell the truth but not so blunt to make a wound. Katherine admitted this was not always the case and the credit for her metamorphosis was due to a former teacher she worked alongside in Summerside – Mrs. Anne Bouchard nee, Shirley-Cuthbert. 

Rachel was tickled pink by this revelation and told Anne to come along for the meeting as there would be time for herself and Katherine to catch up. With summer coming to an end both women will become busy running their schools. A relaxed catch up before the year would do them both good. Especially Anne. Both Marilla and Matthew, and even Sebastian, expressed worried over Anne's behaviour. 

The new Avonlea teacher didn't understand the fuss of having Delphine in her class having worked in towns where it was normal enough for one or two Black children to be in attendance. But this part of Canada was a conservative pocket and some were unhappy to see a Black man not only own farm, but a successful one. Most Black families outside of Charlottetown lived close to White Sands as the Hotel provided employment. There was a school and church built for the family of the employees. With most guests arriving by train to the Hotel the roads coming into White Sands had become neglected. The distance and poor quality of the roads would not make the journey between Avonlea and White Sands easy. This was not the reason why Sebastian wanted Delly to be schooled in Avonlea. He simply wanted his daughter close to him. 

Mrs. Lynde decided to use the washed out pot holed roads in her debate. If Sebastian or anyone in his family were required to travel between Avonela and White Sands each day, surely this could compromise the quality of Mr. Barry's most popular export – the Blythe-LaCroix apples. Mr. Barry had been generous in the past helping fundraise for the Board of Trustees. There had been some grumbles but her argument was a success. Delphine was free to attend Avonlea school at the start of the coming school year. 

Of course when the meeting had been adjourned she didn't tell Sebastian and Gilbert waiting in the foyer how Delphine came to be allowed to attend Avonlea school.

“You must let me take you to tea, Rachel.” Sebastian said. “I know you have been working hard to help Delphine. It's the least we can do. We are going to meet some friends after to pick up some dresses for Delly but we have time for tea or cake, or both!” 

Mrs. Lynde smiled at a Sebastian beaming ear to ear. “I'd love to but I have one more meeting then I need to return home. Best I don't stay away too long with Thomas's heart.”

“Of course, of course. I understand. We'll be around soon to visit him soon.”

Rachel clicked her tongue looking at the time. “I'm waiting on our new teacher – she is required for the next part of the day. I should have known letting her have tea with Anne beforehand would make her late!”

Sebastian snuck a peek at Gilbert knowing Anne's name would pique his interest. Sebastian thought he had seen a ghost when Gilbert appeared back at the house. His clothes were crumpled, hair askew, but he looked more relaxed and happy than during his original visit. Gilbert confessed everything to him this time, hunched over on the porch in the morning sun. Winifred's illicit liaison, Gilbert considering divorce, the ramifications it would have on both them but mainly Winifred, his regret choosing Winifred when he didn't truly love her, and his acknowledgement Anne was the one and he still had feelings for her even though Gilbert was happy Anne found love. 

Sebastian was dumbstruck by it all admitting he didn't envy Gilbert's predicament. He listened as every good brother does, as Gilbert had done for him many times. They talked through scenarios, the possible outcomes of him staying and leaving Winifred. It soon became clear to Sebastian Gilbert made a decision but was scared to take the step. 

Gilbert told Sebastian of his reconnection with Anne in Charlottetown, Diana's admission about Anne's lost letter. He had been about to share the friendly camp out they shared but a wobbly feeling in his gut told Gilbert it was best to keep that to himself. Sebastian thought it was lovely Anne wanted to stay in touch now but warned Gilbert to be careful for both their sakes, especially Annes. 

“Turns out Avonlea's newest educator is a former colleague of your classmate, Gilbert. They worked in Summerside.” Rachel said looking around for any sign of them. “They went for tea in the restaurant and should be out here very soon. Here they come, Sebastian you can tell Anne the news.”

Sebastian didn't need to tell Anne anything. The broad smile was still clinging to Sebastians face as Anne walked over with Katherine. She squealed excitedly throwing her arms around him whispering Mary would be happy. 

“Congratulations, Rachel. I knew you'd succeed.” said Anne as she turned to face the rest of the group. 

Rachel's chest puffed with pride. “Yes, well, I've been known to be persuasive in my time. Miss. Brook this is Delphine's father, Sebastian. He runs the farm with Gilbert Blythe --”

“actually, Sebastian is sole owner now.” Gilbert shared a smile with Sebastian. 

“Ah, so this is the mystery reason why you returned.” Gilbert simply nodded sharing quick look with Sebastian. 

“What are your plans for the day, Queen Anne?” asks Sebastian. 

“To make the 1pm train! Which I'll get on by the skin of my teeth if I don't hurry along.”

Sebastian rolled his eyes, “We can give you a lift. Gilbert I'll walk to Marson's from here, take Anne to the station, then come back for lunch with us.”

Anne decline at the same time Gilbert said yes. Both had been trying to avoid looking at each other as the party stood together. The attempt was futile, glances were stolen between them, small smiles shared, each one wanting to ask how the other was after their camping trip.

Anne admitted Gilbert looked different, happier now. The talk with Sebastian appeared to bring him peace. He was no longer slumping, brows furrowed together, a pained look in his eyes. Instead there was the familiar hazel glint, his head held high displaying the confident curve of his chin, chest puffed out in a self-assured way. Anne shook her head when her brain started to describe him as handsome. Then she remembered what Diana said.

“I don't know if protocol would think it wise an unmarried woman was in a carriage with a married man.” Her voice was steady and even. 

“You are widowed, Anne. The protocol is fine. Plus you said you needed to return to Charlottetown by the 1pm train, if you don't leave with Gilbert know you'll miss it.” said Rachel gently.

A gentlemen poked his head around the corner calling out for the Trustees to return. 

“That's our cue.” Rachel and Katherine said they goodbyes to the group then disappeared into the room. 

Anne hoisted herself into the carriage before Gilbert had time to offer his hand. He jumped in beside Anne taking a long look as she sat poised, her eye line set straight ahead. Her body language was the opposite to their last meeting; rigid and formal.

It has been a week since Gilbert went camping with Anne. Diana's pointed accusation was still fresh in Anne's mind. Neither of them had talked since. Anne was shocked her bosom friend would believe she had been intimate with a married man. She was also annoyed Gilbert hid the state of his marriage with her. Lastly Anne was angry at herself the most. Spending time alone with a married man was improper, this was a fact she was willing to admit to Diana. How could she explain to Diana Gilbert made her forgot about all her worries, that when he was with her all Anne saw was a seventeen year old Gilbert.

Anne could imagine Diana scowling at this admission followed by a brash reminder seventeen year old Gilbert turned into eighteen year old Gilbert, asking Anne to decide his future for him then running off without so much as a goodbye after ignoring the letter. How well did Anne even know Gilbert Blythe – whose to say anything she knew of him still existed. 

As the week passed by anger simmered to disappointment. She hadn't planned to see Gilbert here. Sebastian knew Anne would be attending today. Upon noticing his dark head of curls from across the foyer Anne had momentary wondered if his attendance here today was part of a rouse. Was Diana right in accusing Gilbert of only wanting to get close to Anne as way of hurting his wife. 

“I think Rachel was wrong. People will talk if they were to see me in a carriage with you. Stop the carriage, now!” 

Anne reached over to pull the reigns showing she in fact did want the Gilbert to stop. He opened his mouth to say something as he slowed the horses down but Anne had already jumped off, walking towards the Station in the distance

“Anne, Anne.” Gilbert manoeuvred down from the carriage steading the horses as he called out to her.

“Why did you agree to camp with me? Did you have some ulterior motive to get back at your wife? Was there a glimmer of hope a melancholy widow would give in to you, perhaps let you bed her?”

Gilbert stood gasping at Anne's accusation. He was shocked unsure why she would think anything like this. “What do you mean?” 

“I know about Winifred's discretion. At least I think that's the truth, but who knows really.” 

“What does that – wait, do you think I have been unfaithful in my marriage? That I only had one thing on my mind when I said yes last week.” Gilbert crossed his arms trying to look defiant but inside he was hurting.

“It would explain why you were quick to say yes?”

“And did you not invite me?” he spat back. 

“Yes, and it was wrong. A stupid mistake --” Anne was wringing her hands as she spoke.

“Stupid because you think I wanted to take advantage of you? That was my sole reason for being there?” Gilbert curls his hands into a fist. “It pains me to hear this is what you think of me. To think I would treat you like that? I don't know what to say.” There was a familiar ache in the region of his heart. He raked his brain trying to think how Anne would come to think she needed to accuse him of this. At least to him there was no untoward moments. Then it dawned on him that perhaps Anne was feeling guilty of William. His face softened as he remembered Sebastian asking him to be gentle and kind with Anne. 

“Very well, Anne. Enjoy your walk to the station.”

Anne nods her head without a word, crosses the road and makes her way to the station as Gilbert turns the carriage around to meet Sebastian for lunch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking around reading this fic. I do appreciate your kudos and comments. I'm still unsure about the title for this one. Maybe when it's finished the title will come to me. 
> 
> I think I need to write something light and fluffy after I've finished with this story and The Enamel Heart.


	13. Thirteen

Diana gave Fred a small wave, swallowing hard as she turned to face the door she was about to knock on. When there was no answer Diana turned to look at her husband in the the buggy. He pointed to the door urging her with a look to knock again. 

“She's not home,” Diana announced as she walked away from the door towards the street.

Fred scoffed with a playful smile. “ I bet you a foot rub Anne is in the back garden. Go let yourself in, I'll be back in one hour.” Diana nodded at Fred and with another wave turned on her heel back towards Anne's front door. 

Diana called out hello as her hands pushed the door open. Diana could see the door to the back garden was wide open curtains blowing lightly with the breeze. The sound of the neighbours gramophone was pulsating through the walls. 

“No wonder she couldn't hear me and now I owe Fred a foot massage,” muttered Diana as she closed the door behind her picking up letters the postman had slipped through earlier. 

Diana walked towards a small table opposite the front door slipping Anne's mail next to the photos and framed artwork that decorated the space. Her fingers flitted over the newest addition, one of Diana and Fred from their wedding day. She let out a long breath as she removed her hat, setting it on a free hook beside the table then gave herself a quick look in the mirror before making her way down the hall. 

The houses on this row were newly built, completed at the time Anne had left Summerside following Williams death. Diana had been surprised Anne was even deciding on a modern home. Anne always romanticised over older homes, with their lived in stories and secrets. Diana even found three homes in her neighbourhood, each one fitting what she thought Anne truly wanted. In the end Anne confessed she wanted a fresh start. 

Though it carried all the modern conveniences Anne had somehow made it feel well lived in, her whimsical style and handmade touches taking away the newness. Downstairs consisted of a small parlour that became Anne's office, a bedroom, and washroom with running water. There were three bedrooms upstairs with another washroom. Admittedly the amount of rooms was more than Anne needed but she decided on a larger space should Matthew or Marilla come to live in the not so distant future. 

Diana watched Anne from the back door, the August sun beating down on her back. She was sitting back on her heels looking over the small patch of tidied earth, a pile of weeds to her left. 

“Do you want some help planting out the seeds?” asked Diana tentatively. 

Anne's head whipped around, mouth falling open with shock at seeing Diana standing in her garden. Her heart beat with excited nerves. Anne pulled her skirts closer giving Diana space to sit beside her. 

“You may plant the marigolds, over there near the back.”

They worked in silence, making small holes and sowing seeds, each one sneaking glances at the other. Anne assumed Diana was here to apologise. After her visit to White Sands Anne considered going to Diana admitting she had been right, Gilbert couldn't be trusted. As each day passed Anne's anger quietened and she could no longer believe Diana's accusations to be true. She didn't know what Gilbert was going through, but his actions never warranted Anne to believe he wanted anything other than friendship during the time they had spent together. 

“I have a pitcher of lemonade on the table, would you like some?” suggested Anne. She was beginning to seriously wonder why Diana was truly here. They had been poking holes in the dirt and burying seeds for ten minutes now. If it was to say sorry surely it would have happened by now, especially on such a warm day in her condition. 

“Yes, that would be lovely. Though I don't deserve your hospitality, Anne. I came here to ask for your forgiveness. What I accused you of was awful and I sincerely regret it.”

Anne pulled off her hat, turning to face Diana. “Truly?”

“Yes, yes, Anne. I was so stupid and...and...”

“Frustrated, at me?” suggested Anne. 

Diana nodded her head then looked at the ground. 

“Since you told me about your baby I've been worried to the point my behaviour has been driving you mad. Don't make that face at me. I know I've been infuriating trying to mother you. Its just - I've been so scared of anything happening to you or the baby and I didn't know how to tell you because I didn't want to scare you. So I acted foolishly. Will you forgive me?”

Diana grabbed Anne's hands, pulling them to her lips. “You don't have to explain. I don't know what it's like to loose a child and husband. I don't blame you for being scared for us. You've never spoken a lot about losing Joyce or William, instead you run off camping which scares all of us. I'm always here if you need me. I should have spoken to you earlier but truthfully I didn't know how too. I love you. You're my best friend. Let's promise to share how we feel and do a better job at checking with each other.”

Anne's eyes were glistening with tears as she pulled Diana into a hug. “I love you too. You're my best friend.” The two women relaxed into the hug, enjoying the comfort of being reunited. 

Diana let out a small wince. “It's OK, my legs cramp a lot these days. Can we have some of that lemonade? There's something else I wanted to apologise to you for.” Anne eyed Diana with a quizzical look before taking her hand and leading them inside the house. She settled her guest in the informal lounge opposite the kitchen by the back of the house while she gathered glasses and the lemonade. 

“I will admit I'm worried what you are about to tell me. You always tap your foot when you have something big to say.”

“Sit down and take a drink first.” Anne did as she was told, looking over the glass at Diana trying to figure out what she had further to apologise about. 

“The other reason I made that wretched accusation about you and Gilbert is because Gilbert told Fred he's still in love with you. I knew he was considering divorcing Winifred and I didn't want you to get together, but really I didn't want him to break you heart.”

Anne sat there unsure what to say. Gilbert? Love? Still?

“Oh, Anne. All the colour has drained from your face.” Diana reached for Anne's glass. “Take a sip, should I open a window?”

“Did you say Gilbert Blythe is in love with me?”

“Gilbert confessed to Fred he regretted marrying Winifred and that he has always loved you.”

“This can't be true. He got my letter and ignored it. No, I don-”

Diana covered Anne's hand, “He confessed to me that he never received your letter.”

Anne stood up and started pacing the room. “How did you come to this confession, Diana?”

“Remember when he visited Oak College with Delphine and Sebastian?” Anne nodded urging her to continue. “and you were short with him. Well he asked why you were acting that way and I might have said anyone would act like that had a boy indicated they had feelings for a girl, then that girl upon realising they loved the boy went to their house and confessed it in a letter, and that confession was ignored by said boy. Though, I might have yelled it at him.”

Anne sank down in the seat beside Diana “You have nothing to be sorry for. You were looking out for me.”

“I should have believed him when he said he didn't get the letter, Anne. But he had hurt you so badly before I was afraid he'd do it again. I jumped to a silly conclusion that him being back meant he was chasing you.”

“To tell the truth, I hadn't considered anything with him. He never confessed why he was back on the Island and I didn't ask. But then he didn't know I had been married or about Joyce. I don't believe he was back here for me. Perhaps Gilbert just needed space between himself and Winifred to figure out what to do. Surely he'll go back, he wouldn't consider divorce. Poor Winifred.”

“Anne!”

Anne took Diana's hand. “I know it might seem odd to pity Winifred if it's true she was unfaithful to Gilbert. But can you imagine being married to someone that was,” Anne swallowed still finding it hard to understand, “in love with another person. Perhaps Gilbert wasn't a devoted husband. Her only way out is a divorce, but would tarnish her reputation should the courts even grant it.”

“Why am I not surprised you'd have such deep empathy for Winifred in this situation. I'm so glad you and I got to marry for love. I suppose it does make me feel sorry for them both.”

“Me too, dearest Diana.” They both looked towards the bookcase where a portrait of William sat proudly. “You know Gilbert was genuinely happy when I told him stories about William. I'd like to think I'm good at picking out insincerity and Gilbert displayed none. He was truly happy to hear I married for love.”

“I remember a wise young woman once told me that true love is letting the other find their happiness and supporting them wholeheardley.”

Anne sniffed, “I don't know if seventeen year old Anne was wise.”

“She did meet the kind William Bochard shortly after she said this.”

Anne smiled wistfully, “I did. My dear William, what would you make of all this?”

“He'd laugh!” they girls said together in a fit of giggles. 

The ring of the doorbell interrupted them both. “That must be Fred. Would you like to come over for dinner?”

“I'd love to but can I come tomorrow night? I haven't been sleeping very well, especially since our disagreement. I think tomorrow I'll feel better now we have patched things up.”

Diana paused as they were walking towards the front door. “So you weren't sleeping well before then? Is it the baby really worrying you?”

Anne leaned against the wall watching the shadow of Fred through the small glass window at her front door. “It's the baby, William, Gilbert...”

“Gilbert?”

Anne shrugged. “He keeps appearing in my dreams. I don't know why this is happening. Then I wake up feeling guilty about it.”

“Anne I'm going to ask you something. If Gilbert did divorce Winifred and returned to the Island, would you consider him?”

Anne let out a long breath trying to find the right words. “I don't know, perhaps. I'll always love him. He was my first love after all. The question is am I ready to close my chapter on William and Joyce. That scares me more than anything.”

“You'll never close that chapter Anne and anyone who truly loves you wouldn't ask you too.”

The bell rang again, followed by a knock. Both ladies rolled their eyes and continued to the front door.

“I'll make a big feast tomorrow, roast chicken, extra gravy, crispy potatoes, fresh rolls, green beans from the garden, and cake. A platter of sweet cake.”

Anne laughed as she pulled the door open, “Is the cake for me or is it the pregnancy cravings.”

The laugh died on her lips and a gasp fell from Diana's. Fred wasn't at the front door, it was Gilbert Blythe.


End file.
